projectfifty-two

Conduct Unbecoming

2012-01-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share with you one of the saddest things I have ever encountered. When I began my project years ago, I had thought the hardest thing about this would be knowing that the animals I would meet and make work about would die. My subjects have died and continue to do so, but what has me the most upset are the people.

In November of 2007, I gave my first interview for the project. I did interviews for the paper, radio and then the TV news arrived. The day I met with a local reporter, I had just lost my Grandmother. I remember how excited I was when the shelter had told me that the channel 10 out of Knoxville had contacted them and wanted to meet with me. It was scary since the project was still new- at that point I was still trying to find the best work and had a few drawings, a ton of photographs, and a trash bin full of rejected art. I had hoped to have a bigger and better body of work before I went in front of a camera, but I couldn't pass it up-- after all, it wasn't just about me and my work- it was about the dogs and cats in the shelter-- the interview could help save them. At the time I had lived an hour away from the shelter so I got up that day and cried over my Grandmother, got in the car with my few meager drawings and drove to the shelter. It was hard, talking about death and not being able to say anything about the loss in my family. I also hate being on camera, but I had to promote my work and more importantly I had to promote the animals.

This is a digital image I have created for my upcoming show. I do believe that this particular dog was either adopted or taken to a rescue. I print my photos and digital images in numbers of 52 to represent the 52 weeks a year that animals lose their lives due to not being adopted or rescued.

At the same time I was meeting with channel 10, another news station got wind of the situation. Instead of coming to me about my work, they took the overcrowded shelter angle. I never met with them, instead I saw their report on t.v. and talked with the shelter staff about their experience afterwards. The other station had showed a story about a small town shelter dealing with overcrowding and at one point the reporter held up an elderly yorki mix and proclaimed that the dog would be killed. The shelter directed had told me later that the dog actually had a rescue to take it- but when asked if the dog could be killed she had said yes, since- until they leave through the front door- they do have that chance of being euthanized. She could have shown a number of healthy and wonderful animals that needed homes and explain how they would have made wonderful pets- but, she did not.

I went to work the next day and my coworkers all had seen the stories and it was exciting to be able to talk to them about it. I had such high hopes. There had been press and the world was told about the dogs and cats needing homes- they had been told about the urgency-- people knew and they could do something about it.

Feral Cat #1- a digital image taken from a photo from MDAS. This cat was probably the most terrified animal I have met while doing the project- it was killed shortly after I took photos of it. I believe this image makes it look peaceful.. my goal in the digital work is not to capture their terror- but, to work to capture their beauty.

Due to my finances and distance from the shelter, I was not able to go back until a week later. When I walked into the shelter, I was smiling and excited to hear about all the adoptions that most certainly would have occurred due to all of the press. What I was met with was something I had never expected. The shelter had not been inundated with people whose eyes had been opened and had come in to save a life. Instead, the shelter was inundated with call after call from people who wanted to call them murderers and killers. They had people call to tell them not to kill the elderly yorki mix. No rescue groups came out of the woodwork to sweep in and take a van full to a no kill. Instead the shelter was fielding calls and dealing with angry people- they were not adopting- they were only yelling. I was told one man had driven over from Knoxville - an hour away- and he adopted two kittens- aside from that they said that they had more intake than they had seen in a long time and less adoptions. They had a huge number of owner surrenders. I felt like someone had reached inside of my chest and had grabbed a hold my heart and squeezed the last bit of life out of me. I felt more sad over that than I had for every single dog and cat who had died- animals continued to die and all anyone seemed to want to do was yell.

Things are different now. I make work not just about the animals that die- my focus is just on the animals in the shelter. I go to Miami now for my subjects. However, there is the same problem. People go into a frenzy when an animal is killed- yet, there is no frenzy to adopt. Because I now post my work online, I follow the comments and stories about the ones I post- but also of the rescue community in general. Nothing upsets me more than when I post a dog and month later that dog is still there. No one came for it and very little is done until it is killed. When it dies people become angry (as we all should) and they point fingers and blame the shelter. They call the shelter workers murderers and killers. I am tired of the name calling.

Digital image created from a dog from MDAS. I do not know the fate of this dog. I work to remove their bars while not completely removing them. This is one where I have left much more of the bars/chainlink. When I take the photos, sometimes it is very hard to truly see the dogs and cats behind the cage walls- this is my way to better show them.

Recently, I had been called a cancer when I was questioning one group who was causing some confusion in their postings on facebook. It is all conduct unbecoming. If people spent half as much time figuring out ways to save the lives instead of going insane when they are lost- imagine how much progress could be made. I wish those involved in rescue would realize that by constantly putting out there such horrible words such as murder- they are pushing some people away from ever stepping foot into a shelter. After all, who wants to walk through the door of a place full of murderers? I wonder if that reporter had not held up that dog and proclaimed it was going to be killed... if people would have responded differently. Maybe.. maybe not. Words matter and to those outside of the rescue community who are looking to adopt will see those words. Do we want people to adopt in a panic merely to be able to save a life- or do we want people to adopt because they want a new member in their family?

We can all say the shelters are the ones killing the animals, because physically they are the ones who are giving the lethal dose. But, what about the lethal dose that is put upon a shelter when it comes to public perception? We should always be honest, but should we not want to promote that there are tons of happy and healthy animals in the shelter? By using such language and attacking those in the shelters- and people such as myself who are involved, it can turn off a public who might otherwise want to do the right thing by adopting. We need the public to adopt- not to be horrified- we don't need a knee jerk reaction - we need a way to bring more responsible people in and not scare them away from the shelters.

Snow and Flakes are two dogs who were abused and ended up at the shelter. At the time I write this- they are still in quarantine from the distemper outbreak. From what I understand, is that there is a rescue will take them once they are cleared. This digital image is one that I especially wanted to create since I had a hard time getting a decent photo of them. They were in the west wing- a more isolated part of the shelter- not as well traveled by adopters and the kennels have a tight chain link that is hard to work with in photography.

I almost quit the project when I heard about the lack of adoptions and the huge number of people harassing them. But, there was that one man.. that one man who drove an hour to get there... and he adopted two kittens. He got it. He understood and knew action speaks louder than words... so, whoever that man is.. he is why I continue to do this.

I do get it

2012-01-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I had a belief that as long as an animal made it alive out of a "kill" shelter, that was all that mattered. But, I know now that is a pretty ignorant belief. What I now believe is that all dogs and cats deserve not only to live- but, they deserve a home where they will be properly cared for. I believe that dogs and cats deserve to live out their lives uncaged and to get the proper medical care and proper nutrition they deserve. I believe that the animals that have been abandoned by society in shelters deserve real homes. They should never be put into situations which cause them pain and suffering.

Dogs I met in the TN shelter. They had come from a hoarding situation from a person had at least 10- I believe there were more at the home. There were other dogs with poodle type coats that were in terrible need of grooming. The dogs were highly unsocialized and were terrified. Some wonderful people who did foster at the shelter came forward and were able to work with some of them. To my knowledge, these two were not so lucky.

One of the best rescues I have ever worked with is a "no kill" shelter in Des Moines IA, called the Animal Lifeline. I believe in who they are and what they do. As far as a "no kill" shelter, they are a great example of a long standing group who provides the best care for their animals- they active in the community and do not take in more than they can handle. My mistake was thinking that they were all like this. I used to volunteer there to clean, walk, give meds, do public events ... a myriad of things. I was there because I saw a strong organization that bent over backwards to take care of their medically needy residents and provided beds and toys in every cage. They made sure the dogs were walked multiple times daily and all of the cats got to have some time out of their cages daily. The food that the animals were fed was not the cheap grocery store type. They believed in quality in all aspects of the care of their animals. That is what I knew to be how a no kill was run. I made the mistake of believing they were all run like that.

Now, there are some major obstacles that shelters deal with and those are the facts that there is not an endless supply of money and adopters, but a seemingly endless supply of people dumping their pets. What this has done to the rescue community as a whole has driven a deep divide between those who are with the "kill" shelters and those with the "no kill" shelters. The thing is that people are looking at the obstacles with different understandings of the reality.

This is one of the first dogs I took pictures of for project fifty-two. She was a beautiful pit- she was covered with scars and still sagging from feeding her litter. Not one person came to adopt her.. no "no kills" were interested in her because she was a pit bull. She was an amazing dog.. one of the friendliest dogs I have ever met. She died.. no one came for her.. and I was mad.. I am still mad.

I never want a healthy animal to die in a shelter. In fact, that is why I do the work I do. I could make paintings of flowers and make a decent living off of my art, but I choose instead.. a subject that drains me financially and emotionally because I want the killing to stop. The problem with the divide with the "kill" and "no kill" sides is that they both appear to want to end the killing. But, like I said, the realities are different. Some believe that there needs to be a bigger push to get society as a whole to be more responsible since they are the ones dumping the animals - others see the shelter systems as the one at fault. If all of the dogs and cats pulled from a "kill" shelter were put into safe and loving homes or put into a quality no kill like the one I had experience with - then I would firmly plant my feet onto the "no kill" side. But, I know better. I cannot see how the full blame can be put solely on the shoulders of the "kill" shelters. Do they need to do better- yes, of course,,, but I do not believe that change can come from fighting only one front. This is a multi pronged problem that not only includes the shelter system- but, the public... and even "no kill" rescues as well.

The internet has given me a very nice ability to look into the world of rescue. I have learned that some dogs are pulled from MDAS and just left in boarding for - sometimes- months. It had never even occurred to me that boarding was being used in rescue for anything but a short term solution for issues like quarantine. Some rescues do not appear to have proper facilities - some are pulled- I think the dog is safe and then I see that same dog being posted online with someone begging for a foster. Some dogs had even ended up across the state in a rescue that had been shut down for fire code violations. There have been far too many news articles about rescues being shut down due to horrible conditions and too many stories about animals caught up in hoarding situations -- and far too many of those are operating under the guise of rescue. Some animals have even been rescued and sent to other rescues and adopters - sight unseen - in other parts of the country. (please note that, although I mention these bad examples- there are a myriad of good rescues out there who do proper home visits and have proper facilities, fosters, and funding in place prior to ever pulling an animal.. always please support good rescues)

This is a feral cat I met at the TN shelter. Feral cats are euthanized unless someone offers a farm or land where they can be fixed and released. Some sanctuaries take in feral cats- but, there are far too many cats though. Far too many die in the shelters- not enough adopters and "no kills" taking them to safety. I do not understand why more people are not adopting cats. I have read that at MDAS only 10% of the cats are adopted or taken to rescues... but, I do believe this number will be increasing.

Currently, there is no real state oversight in Florida for rescue groups. No regular inspections and no requirements for them to provided ongoing data of animals in their care- including intake numbers, adoption numbers and numbers of those who have died in their care. I am surprised with the numerous news articles I have read about rescues gone wrong that there has not been more of a push for the oversight of them. Instead, Florida has introduced the Animal Rescue Act that would require that all "kill" shelters give all animals to rescues that are going to be euthanized if those are rescues willing to take them. Of course, it is clearly stated that they can refuse to do so to groups with criminal convictions or pending animal abuse or neglect charges. However, the proposal uses the word "may".. it does not say that they cannot- it says that they "may" refuse to give the animals to them- the word "may" used in legal documents is referring to the choice to act or not. This same word also is used in regards to requiring rescues to even disclose the information. Why in the world would someone have written this in such a way that a shelter can technically not choose to even ask for a disclosure from a rescue in regards to criminal behavior involving animal abuse? Technically, this means that a city shelter could legally not do a check and they could legally not refuse to give an animal to an abuser. In addition it also states that a shelter "may" require that the rescues give them monthly inspections and stats. So again- a shelter could technically choose to not do any inspections of the rescues that are taking their animals. On the flip side, a good shelter should take the time to do all inspections and checks on criminal behavior and this language would allow them the ability to request stats and do inspections- but, are all of them going to do that? Do they all have the manpower and frankly does ever shelter even care once the animal is out their doors? Some shelters may be poorly run in some areas - they could not even care enough to bother with any checks at all. Since rescue groups are not monitored and this legislation does not mandate it - technically, dogs and cats could be saved from euthanasia only to be sent to rescues who are not doing the best by the animals.

I used to believe wholeheartedly in the Animal Rescue Act. However, I was mistaken when I first read it- I didn't really catch onto the word "may". When I first read it I thought that it was all mandated - but, I want to thank No Kill Nation for opening my eyes to unenforceable mandates. Recently I had asked them about their opposition to the proposal regarding changes in the way the city of Miami runs its shelter. One of the things I was loving about that proposal was, what I thought, was enforceable mandates regarding the very same thing that I am having problems with in the Animal Rescue Act. I had loved the part about the rescue registry and how they needed to be contacted of impending euthanasia- but, in regards to the oversight of those rescues it uses the word "may"- just as the Animal Rescue Act. Now No Kill Nation has asked everyone to oppose the legislation that Miami has proposed - and when I asked why- they simply stated that is did not have enforceable mandates. Yes, the word "may" provides discretion. Just as in the Animal Rescue Act the word "may" provides discretion regarding a pretty huge issue involving the future safety of the animals. So I want to thank them for making me realize that, what I thought was a magnificent proposal, is really just something that does not fully protect the animals. I am not sure who wrote it- but, I can't imagine why a person would not make something iron clad into the bill that would prevent the animals from going from one danger to another.

This is the first dog I posted on facebook in attempt to help her. She received a huge response - someone adopted her- but, quickly changed their mind because she was sick. It became a bit of a three ring circus- from what I understand she did finally find a home and is safe. You can read some of what took place here. ttps://www.facebook.com/notes/mailyn-rescue-cats/sombra-now-sunshine-in-a-desperate-situation-very-sick-now/198824173462783 that is only one thread - there were others. I am grateful for those that helped her- but, I almost never posted another picture after this.

If it passes- great- but, I hope that someone will immediately begin to work on protections for the animals that create laws to license and inspect rescues. I am tired of reading stories of animals stuck in hoarding situations that are forced to live in cages their entire lives. I am sick of reading about rescues who are shut down due to not caring properly for the animals in their care. I am beyond upset about reading that animals are having to be re saved and being put right back into the system.

I want to read about shelters and rescues working together to save lives. I looked for a long time at a worthy cause that does this very thing- so that I could give them a percentage of my sales in an upcoming show. I have found that- it is a transport program right out of MDAS. They take dogs- and now cats- to no kill rescues in other cities and states. I have been assured that the no kills are looked into that they are doing the transport to. Many lives have been saved through this.. I'll talk more about transports on another blog.. this one has gotten too long... and I just needed to defend myself- because I do get it.

I did not get the intake number on this dog- this dog, I believe, was adopted or taken to rescue from MDAS. This is one of my new digital pieces.

Responsibility

2012-01-09T09:43:00.000-08:00

Shelters should and will always have a need to exist. They need to be there for times when a person truly has nowhere to go. A person who has passed away and has no family or friends to take their pets needs a refuge for their beloved pets. Stray dogs and cats need a place to go so that they can be reclaimed by their owners or adopted out to more responsible people. Sometimes a person finds themselves homeless and must make a terrible decision to leave their pet because they have nowhere to go. Natural disasters happen and there needs to be a place for pets to be safe while things get put back in order. Shelters do have a purpose, but the problem is that people use them less like their intended purpose and more like a trash can for their unwanted pets.

Every time I see someone drop an animal off, I am upset. It could be that someone has run into an incredibly hard situation and has had to let go of a beloved member of their family. However, too many times it is not that at all. In just the last two visits that I made to the shelter I saw two people leaving their elderly dogs because they were "just too old". I find those the worst. I cannot imagine taking my elderly dog, that has stood loyally by my side for years, to the shelter. What are they thinking? Why in the world do they think it is someone else's responsibility to take care of their aged dog? Do they think their pet would be better off? If that is their thinking- they are so far from the truth... so very far. Their pet will end up being placed in an unfamiliar cage in a place where they know no one. Their dog or cat will probably shake and cry, they may stop eating.. they might even get sick and some even just die in their cages. If they are lucky, someone will adopt them, but the chance of that is slim. The competition is fierce in there- most people want a baby or one with several years left in them. More than likely, that dog or cat that they left at the shelter will die by a lethal injection and leave the shelter in a plastic bag. If the shelter is a no kill- depending on the shelter- they may spend their last days in a cage, in a kennel with many other dogs and cats who may also spend their entire lives in a cage- waiting. And the thing that rips me up the most about the elderly pets- is that they do wait. They wait at their cage doors, because they believe with every ounce of their being that the person that betrayed them will return for them. I have seen it so many times.. and it never becomes less painful to see. The people who do this to their pets are some of the most heartless people in the world.

Some people adopt a pet and have no idea what they are getting into. They may find that they have failed at house training and they just give up and take their pet the shelter. On some levels, I have a bit more sympathy for them.. not because they were right to dump their pet- but, because they had failed at trying to teach their pet to live in the human world. I know I have had a hell of time teaching pets of

mine to become housebroken and to not climb up the curtains. Those people are the ones that I think may still have a chance. They are the people that shelters should be focusing on as people who can be educated. If a person dumps their pet due to housebreaking issues, what if they could be part of a second chance program where the shelter works with trainers who can help to educate the people? If there are programs in place to work with people then I wonder how many pets could be saved. I do see programs in some shelters to offer free training and education and I think that can make a huge difference. Not all people will be responsible enough to follow through- those I do not have an ounce of sympathy for- they are lazy and irresponsible and their pet may end up dead because of their actions. One of the worst things that a person can do is take in a puppy- not train it- allow behavior issues to become a part of it and then dump it on the shelter. Those people need to be held responsible for their inaction in their duties- but, they are not. My hope is that with the various programs being implemented in shelters that there will be enough people to be responsible and avoid or change the behaviors of their pets.. those that do should be very proud of themselves.

Some people adopt or buy a cute puppy or kitten and then, once it gets big, they dump it. Every year, a few months after Christmas there are dogs and cats dumped because they were a present that grew. Often times, they keep them just long enough to have them through the cutest, smallest, and most adoptable phase of their life before dumping them. Sometimes, there are even people that do it over and over again. I wish there was a way to just stop them. But, there is not. Those are people that I think need to be called in to watch their pet die when no one adopts it and they need to be told to their face that their pet died because of them. This is why pets do not make good gifts. They should never be brought into the home on a whim and there needs to be a large amount of research done as to what needs to be done to properly care for them. Breeders and pet shops are far to eager to allow just anyone to take their babies - after all, if they turned irresponsible people away it would affect their income. I cannot tell you how many times I have been told by someone who had bought from a breeder that they were told their dog would not get too big.. yes, labs do get big. Sometimes, people have been convinced to buy multiple puppies so they won't be lonely. They are not educated properly.. not at all. Far too few breeders are looking out for the best interest of their litters. There are some, and those are the ones who will put into a contract that the dog or cat needs to be returned to them. Even shelters don't do a good enough job on educating people who adopt puppies.... some are very good at it. But, others are not and I wonder of only taking an adopter aside and sitting down with them to give them resources and talking with them about what it really takes would lessen the number of returns. But, then again.. shelters are so overrun I think they are just happy as hell to see any adoption.

Some people, no matter what kind of education or resources are given to them will always fail their pets. There is too much abuse happening and not enough prosecuting of the abusers- too many lax laws and not enough tracking of the animal abusers. This might just appear to be an issue for the pets, but there are many cases where people who abuse animals go on to abuse people. Why not stop them in their tracks the minute they starve a dog or beat a cat? Why must we wait until they do something against a human? It seems society would be better served to keep abuse of humans down if only they would start with the abuse of animals. Some people refuse to spay and neuter their animals and constantly are adding the the massive overpopulation issues we have with dogs and cats in this country. There are others who are too lazy to even vaccinate their pets and then dump sick animals in shelters - not only giving a death sentence to their pet, but to every single animal they come in contact with. I have no sympathy for them.. I save my sympathy for their victims.

So basically, shelters need to exist- there are legitimate reasons why shelters need to be. People are abusing the service. They have discovered that shelters will take on their messes. They have put down their responsibility and placed it upon the shoulders of the shelter workers. luckily for the dogs and cats who are victim to the those people, there are people who are working for them and fighting for them. But, it is a losing battle until things change. Either "kill" shelters will be forced to continue to kill millions each year due to space, illness and budgets.. or "no kills" will be forced to house animals that may or may not ever find homes- how much can they truly take on? How long can they keep it up? I see articles all the time about overflowing shelters and lack of funds.. it doesn't matter what side of the fence people are on about what kind of shelter is better- what matters is that society is irresponsible- ignorant and sometimes downright callous in their care of their pets.

There needs to be changes in the community since they are the ones who are causing the problem. I firmly believe that there should be mandatory spay an neuter laws and that spays and neuters should be free. As a taxpayer, I would much rather have my money go to fixing cats to prevent future ones than to go to house the many litters of unwanted kittens who may end up just being killed or warehoused- using tax payer money. Puppy mills need to be stopped and breeders need to have more oversight. Hoarders of animals need to be stopped and instead of getting sympathy need to be made to never own animals again- too many times they contribute to mass influxes of animals when they are busted. No kill shelters need more oversight as well and there needs to be more partnerships between them and the city shelters. People who use rescue animals for their own monetary gain need to be punished severely and all abusers should have much harsher punishments. Education of those adopting and buying pets should have mandatory education and anyone who brings in an elderly pet to be dumped needs to called when their pet is about to be killed and to be told exactly how much that animal missed them. Shelters should exist for those times when they need to be there-- we need to stop allowing them to be used as dumping grounds for all of the people that should know better-- and often do.

Distemper, anger, and why the hell this is so hard

2012-01-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

I make art about animal shelter animals. I know when I go in to the shelter, that the photos I take of the dog and cats may very well be the last image of them to ever show that they ever existed. I chose a subject matter that is one of the hardest things I could have ever chosen. Some people paint beautiful paintings of flowers- I make art about animals that are most likely going to die.

When I go in in the shelter, I take hundreds of pictures in hopes that I get a good few ones. Then, I go home and try to quickly go through the massive numbers of photos - edit them and post them online. I figure that since I have chosen the subject matter of shelter dogs/cats for my art- I have an obligation to use those photos to attempt to help them... the art used to come first, until I got on Facebook and discovered the cross posters and rescue groups... the images were always about a memory- now, they can act as that- but, they can also work as a tool to save a life. Sometimes I find that people respond very strongly to an image I post.. and it helps to find them a home or a safe place in a no kill rescue. Those photos will not go on to serve as memories of the dogs/cats- they will serve as victories. To be able to use my work to help those who I photograph is something that makes the heavy subject matter bearable to me.

At the shelter I began in I photographed the euthanasia. I remember the dogs well. I remember how much I really loved one of them, but I could not stop it... I could only use my camera to capture it .. to show the world how wrong we are for what we do. That day was hard, but I went in knowing what the outcome would be .. I knew there was no hope, I was able to take a deep breath and do my job.. I knew that what was happening was not due to my own actions- I was simply an observer. When I got home that night, friends wanted me to go out .. I didn't want to.. I went and climbed in bed and thought about what I saw.. it was bad.. I stayed in bed for a long time.

But now, I have hope when I take the photos. I am not able to go to the shelter as often as I would like, but when I do, I post what I can. There is at least a hope that what I am doing might, in some small part, help change the outcome. For the first time in this work, I feel like something I do can make a change.. no matter how small.. and infrequent.. my actions can affect what happens to them. So over the last week or so, I have had the opportunity to help make changes. I have had to drive to Miami 3 times in that short period and I have been able to take hundreds more pictures than I have before. I have been able to go back in after taking a photo of a dog- or cat and be able to try again.. take a better photo. I have been able to see dogs that were scared of me the first visit- now come up to their kennel door and say hello. I have been able to watch as the photos I posted have been shared on Facebook and have had reactions and actions ....and I have been able to follow the stories of some of them who have been saved. It had all left me wishing I were closer.. and able to go much more often.

Today though, I took a huge hit. The shelter has a distemper outbreak. If you are unfamiliar with distemper, it is a pretty horrific and contagious disease and can leave those that survive with lasting issues. Although the disease is horrific, the most horrific thing about it is that there is a vaccine- and if people had only vaccinated their dogs- there would be no outbreak. The shelter can vaccinate every dog that comes through their door- but, it takes time to work.. and all it takes is one irresponsible person to dump their sick, unvaccinated pet there.

So now, I have no idea if the dogs I have posted and seen so many people working so hard to save.. will make it out. Already, there were 18 dogs euthanized because of it.. the shelter is closed down for owner surrenders and adopters while they work to contain it. I know there were dogs there that were set to be saved today, but now.. are in quarantine.. if they survive the outbreak- they have a safe place to go.. but, will they survive? I don't know.

What is killing me the most.. what is just killing me.. is that there were two dogs that I had posted pictures of online.. I wanted so badly for them to be seen.. they are named Snow and Flakes and were in the west wing of the shelter- an area so much less traveled by potential adopters and not as easy a place to find for those unfamiliar with the shelter. So, when I saw them.. I wanted to try and help them. They reminded me of some dogs that I had met in the TN shelter years ago who had come from a hoarder.. and the minute I saw them they really just got to me. I took several photos of them.. but, it was the worst time of day.. the sun was going down and when I got home, I was not happy with my work- but I worked with what I had.. and I posted their pictures and crossed my fingers and hoped. After posting them, I read that they had been abused and that one had an imbedded collar.. it just made me want them to be saved just that much more. People responded.. they saw the photos-- they had learned about their history from other people working them online.. and then the dogs got sick.. they got a URI.. a cold.. and people worked harder and harder to share them online and just as I thought they would be euthanized it appeared that there were people who were actually going to save them. What is killing me about this ..is that I was at the shelter yesterday.. and they had the driver who was supposed to pick them up yesterday .. and they were not able to do it.. if I had only known.. if I had known.. I was right there.. I could have got them... and today, they are in quarantine with over 200 others and I have no idea if they will make it out.

This outbreak never should have happened. It happens in shelters all over the country from time to time. The most horrible thing about it all is that it was totally preventable. All dogs should be vaccinated and the person or people who failed to do so are the cause of the dogs dying. Was it the person who let their dog run in the streets to be picked up? Was it the person who let their dog breed and then dumped her and her multiple puppies there? Was it the person who decided that their dog was too old so they dumped it at a shelter that has so few adopters that more dogs end up dying than being adopted each year? Who was the irresponsible person that not only failed their own pet by allowing it to end up at the shelter, but also caused not only their own dogs death but the deaths of many others? Who was it that cared so little that they didn't take the time to get a simple vaccine? Who the hell was it that is causing the deaths of the dogs that I wanted to badly to help save? I honestly am more disgusted by the actions of this person than I am of the day I watched the euthanasia.

All of the pictures on this post are dogs that I photographed on my last visit. Will they survive? I do not know.. I don't. I should be excited now.. I have a show coming up.. and this was probably the last visit I was going to make before the show.. now I am completely heartbroken.. completely.. because when I have that show I won't be able to tell so many stories of how the sad dog behind bars in the photo found a wonderful home.. no, I will have to tell them that the sad dog behind the bars died.. because someone didn't bother to vaccinate their dog.

a deadly sneeze

2012-01-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

I was at the Miami Dade Animal Services again yesterday. I usually don't visit so often- but, I had the misfortune of buying a car from Car Max about a week ago and they keep messing up with fixing some issues with it. I try to keep things in perspective and have decided to not blow a fuse over the fact that I made a 4 hour round trip yesterday to pick up my car .. only to be told that the part was not even in.. so much for the "it'll be done by 4 p.m." .. so yeah, I have decided that it is just the universe forcing me to go to the shelter again.. because the dogs have a cold.

Peter was healthy when I took his picture, but I have read that he now has a URI.

One terrible part of shelter life for dogs- and cats, is that they are often times subjected to germs. Just as we might pick up a cold when we are out at the mall or grocery store ...touching things other people have touched and breathing air others have coughed in.. the animals in shelters also have the same problem. It sucks. URI, or upper respiratory infections are a very common problem with animals housed in groups. Especially when there is an open admission shelter (one that takes in all dogs and cats and does not turn any away) there is more of a chance for the URIs and other infectious problems to be passed on. I have also seen URIs in no kill shelters with selective intake, so it is not unique to large city shelters.. it happens everywhere and is not limited to shelters- pet shops, groomers.. it can be spread anywhere- which is why, if you ever board your pet they should require a vaccine to prevent it while in their care.

Troy was feeling good and playing when I met him, but I have just read that he also has the URI now.

The URI can actually be a number of things that actually cause it- but generally, when it happens the animals cough, sneeze, become lethargic and act just like we do when we are hit with a bad cold. They are miserable.. just think how you felt the last time you were up all night coughing. I adopted a puppy from the shelter more than a year ago. She had been infected and once I had her home, she quickly became sick. I had my dogs inoculated, but they also became sick. (that is why it is always recommended to quarantine new pets) Now, the URI is usually totally treatable and if a dog- or cat is healthy they should generally be able to go through a course of medication and be fine. In my case, I treated Sylvia and my dogs and it took several days- but everyone was and is still fine. Now, there are times when the URI is too much for an animal. A while back, I fostered a pregnant cat and right before she gave birth, the germs she had picked up at the shelter hit her. She was medicated, her newly born babies were medicated- but they were all lost- they were just too little and not able to fight it. So, just like colds in people, it is important to keep the sick away from he healthy because the young, old, and weak do have a harder time getting through it.

The problem with a URI in a shelter such as the Miami shelter is that people are continually bringing animals in... they bring them in sick and that spreads-- they bring them in healthy and they become sick.. there are so many animals running through that shelter. So many. When I first decided to begin to go over there.. it was because I had read they had taken in over 30,000 animals in 2010. I know it was over 30,000 - but, based on that number it averages to 82 animals a day. So when you are dealing with such numbers and there are not nearly that many adopted and saved daily- there becomes an issue of room and of how to keep the healthy - healthy.

So back to the trip to Miami.. I went back yesterday and it was so upsetting. Some of the dogs that I had taken photos of only a couple of days prior were now sick. The shelter is trying to keep those dogs separate from the others, but today I learned that healthy dogs I met only yesterday are now sick. It is not fair. It just makes me so mad. I do know they are trying. The shelter is also dealing with freezing nights which makes this even harder to deal with. The dogs were brought to the interiors and that just makes it harder to control it all.

These are two dogs that I had taken photos of only a few days ago. I have since learned they are sick, unless at the last second.. a rescue or adopter stepped forward.. they will be euthanized. From what I have read, it appears they were abused dogs.. they never had much of a chance.

I am angry and upset with it all. I had gone in hoping that maybe the pictures I took could help save a life. But, I am seeing that many are still there- and they are getting sick. Two dogs that I had taken photos of on December 30th will lose their lives either tonight or in the morning because they are now sick.. there is no one coming for them... and the shelter has to keep allowing people to bring in their pets so that there is not adequate room to keep and properly treat the sick dogs and to also keep the healthy ones healthy.

It is a crappy situation. I don't like it.. but, I am not mad at the shelter.. I am mad at society. Every time I am there I see people coming in and dumping their pets. Some are very rude and mean to the employees-- and sometimes even to me thinking I work there.. which I do not. People bring their dogs and cats in because they are old and don't want to deal with them.. they bring them in when they allow them to breed and realize now that they have 10 dogs instead of 1 - they don't want to deal with them anymore... yesterday, someone brought in a tiny chihuahua puppy because they couldn't deal with it... everyday.. every excuse.. and everyday people bring in perfectly healthy pets- that, due to their irresponsibility will have a slight chance of being adopted or rescued- but have a higher chance to become sick.. to become depressed ..and to eventually to die.

This is all heartbreaking .. it all is. But, I knew it would be when I began.. after all, that is what my work was meant to be about.. a way to give a voice to the abandoned dogs and cats.. and to remember those that were tossed aside. Below are some mixed media paintings that I finished 30 minutes before the start of the new year. They are all images of dogs from the TN shelter.. and they all did not make it out... and these paintings may be the only things that allow them to be remembered. And the really sad thing is that I will need to make more.. because of the dogs and cats who don't make it out today.. because they caught a cold and not enough people are willing or able to home or rescue a dog with a cold.

Used Trashed Pit - 4" x 12" acrylic, pen, paper, photo, fur on canvas

A Hoarder's Dogs- 4" x 12" acrylic, pen, paper, photo, fur on canvas

Old Hound Trashed- 12" x 4" acrylic, pen, paper, photo, fur on canvas

2011-12-30T22:08:00.000-08:00

I went to the shelter today and made sure to take a bunch of photos of cats. I had seem some posts online from people who were upset about the lack of attention the cats get.. it's true, cats are not as often posted as the dogs. When looking at the overall numbers of those adopted versus those euthanized, the cats are not doing nearly as well as the dogs.. and since the dogs are not doing great.. well, that is a problem.

I happen to love cats. I haven't had one in the house for some time and I probably won't for a long time. I was heartbroken after losing my own cats in the last couple of years so I just decided to not have a cat for a while- mine had lived to 18 and 20 years old.. they had been with me for so long so that it wasn't easy to just go adopt another. I did take in a foster last year.. I was so excited because she was a pregnant cat and I looked forward to helping her family have a chance. Things didn't go so well though. She got a URI and although I took her in and medicated the mom... the babies also got it. They were just too tiny to fight it and they were all lost.. so there I was again heartbroken over lost cats. The Mom cat did ok and went on to find a home. Now, I would love to have a cat- but, I'm afraid the wonder twins would "play" with a cat and hurt it. So.... I'm catless.

What I do not understand is all of the people who trap feral cats. I just don't know why. Are they thinking they are helping them? Are they just mad? Frustrated with the cats? Vindictive? I just don't get it. I once had a neighbor who flipped out on me because he said my cat was peeing on his bushes. I saw he had set a trap out..even though I explained my cat was indoors. The funny thing was that he did finally find the cat that was peeing on his precious bushes- it was a bobcat. I wonder though do people trap cats because they are peeing on their bushes? If so do they honestly think their bushes are more important than a life? The only times I think a feral cat needs to be trapped is if it is going to be fixed and released.. or is vicious and attacking people or animals.. otherwise- why not leave them alone? Why not call a rescue group to come in and fix and release them? I just don't get it.

Feral cat - I wanted to take the cage and run

So, at the shelter today, there were feral cats sitting in their cages .. poor cats that some person had decided that did not deserve life. Feral cats are not adopted out. They really can't be- they are wild. They are terrified and they would not make good pets and it would be dangerous to adopt them. A feral cat brought to a shelter is going to be a dead cat.. (unless a shelter has a special area to allow them to live out their lives such as the Best Friends sanctuary)... there is no hope for them. The cats I saw today had no hope. I doubt they are still alive.. especially with space needed for the influx of kittens that were dropped off today.. such a constant stream coming in.

Some things a camera cannot capture. My lens cannot capture the shaking and the crying. The orange cat above shook the entire time I was there. There was no way to comfort the poor thing.. it was not socialized, it was fearful, and it was not a cat that could be handled. So the entire time it was there it shook in fear. I bet it shook until its final breath. And why? Because a person decided that its life was not worth anything. It makes me want to kick someone.

But, before I make it seem like things are just beyond horrible and there is no hope - I also saw good things happening today. I saw people looking to adopt and I even saw an adoption. I also saw that there was a group from the Humane Society who were pulling cats to take. That is great.. that is what needs to happen.. to see groups who can help alleviate the numbers at the city shelter, they are not only saving the cats that they took- but, they also are opening more cage space for all those kittens that keep pouring in the door. I know it is hard to find groups to take cats.. it can be really hard... so it was a big deal to see so many cats today that were going to be going to safety.

Humane Society workers choosing cats :) yippee!

Other good things I saw where hard working people who took time from their own lives to volunteer and even one employee who came in on her day off to help me take pictures. I also saw the photographer hard at work who comes in a few times a week to take fantastic studio photographs of the dogs and cats... they make a difference. The thing is that we can all so easily look at the negative and get so caught up in it until it consumes us and makes us feel hopeless... or, we could focus on the little things.. the little successes and make it known how important they are and how others can have the power to do seemingly small things to lead towards bigger changes. So, I could have left the shelter feeling hopeless and upset.. but, I chose not too.. I chose to focus on the little victories and to know that I am trying to do my part to make a change.. instead of just laying blame. I couldn't save the orange cat, but I can work to give a voice to those who otherwise may not have a chance.. that is what I can do.. what can you do?

Thoughts While Waiting for Paint to Dry...

2011-12-29T18:15:00.000-08:00

I have written a novel. It is in the process of editing before I submit it. To who I will submit it- I do not know yet. I figured, write first.. and figure it all out later. I suck at editing so it is taking forever. What I wrote about is a story that revolves around people who work at a "kill" shelter. It is something that has been on my mind a lot. From volunteering I learned a lot about the people who work in "no kill" and "kill" shelters and know that there is a hell of a lot of emotion and hard work that goes into both. As an artist, I have been able to stand back and watch instead of do and it has given me a lot to think about. What really struck me the most, was when I photographed the euthanasia and the director broke down in tears. I have talked about it before on here - but, I was so unprepared about what that does to a person and it still bothers me so much. In that instance, she was a vet who had left her practice and become the shelter director of a small, rural shelter that accepts all dogs and cats. That particular shelter had a high euthanasia rate, but was able to reduce it significantly due to their Rolling Rescue program. They were just receiving more animals than were being adopted, fostered, or taken to "no kills"... the transport program is the only thing that keeps many of the animals alive. It was that moment, in the euthanasia room, that inspired me to write a story... a fictional story, but one very much inspired by the truth... that was in late 2006.. and it took me until 2011 to do it.

Because of the writing.. and of course the art.. and my own personal interest, I have been obsessed with the world of shelters for some time now. I have followed many stories about good rescues and bad and I have watched groups work to make improvements in shelters and some who place blame. It is such an emotional issue. It is one that is easy to stand back and throw blame, but one that once you get your hands dirty you have a much better understanding of the truth. One thing that has been bothering me for sometime is the idea that some people have about shelter workers. I have seen such horrible things said about them- people call them murderers and say that they hope they go to hell. Horrible stuff. I even saw a group say that the workers at the Miami shelter "enjoyed killing". It is sick the things that I have read. I can honestly say that I have met several shelter people and not one has ever said they enjoyed killing or liked that part of their job. It wasn't just that one shelter director that I have seen become emotional .... I have seen intense emotion from many people who work at various shelters who are so overwhelmed and disturbed by that aspect of their job.

If people would just stop dumping their pets it would make the killing stop. If there were truly enough homes for them all it would end.. but, there is no end in site. Too many people fight against the simple fact that dogs and cats must be fixed- there are simply too many. People are still buying pets that come from backyard breeders and puppy mills. It is big business and there appear to be people who want to divert the attention of the need to stop the breeding and push the blame to the people who work in the open door shelters. The euthanasia is not the cause - the euthanasia is the effect caused by the affect of those protecting the breeding industry. We need to be careful about where we point our fingers.

As I have seen firsthand is that "no kill" shelters can exists successfully, but in order for them to be a success they cannot be open door. If they accept every dog and cat then they end up in the same boat as the "kill" shelters - a shelter full of animals with out enough people wanting them. It is a case of want that also adds to the problem. People want certain types of pets. People who want cute fluffy dogs will not be interested in the thousands of pit bulls and labs sitting in shelters right now. Too often, those people that have specific wants don't even bother with the shelter because there is such an over abundance of breeders out there spewing out popular dogs. The sad thing is that a simple search on Petfinder would let those people who want ..see that those same dogs and puppies are in shelters all across the country.. and often for a much lower adoption fee than a breeder charges. Some "No Kill" shelters understand the fact of the want and take in only those dogs or cats that are highly wanted.

I just felt like just getting those thoughts out here tonight.. doing this blog writing while I wait for paint to dry on some mixed media paintings I am doing ... using images of dogs that were never adopted... they were never taken by "no kills" or fosters.. they died.. and I know the person who had to make the decision to euthanize them.. and I know that she didn't take it lightly.. because I was there one day when that same decision was made on others.. and saw her cry.

Christmas for the Adopted Dogs

2011-12-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

I'm going to take a moment and talk about my own dogs and this holiday and to say thank you to some special people. All of my "Kids" are rescued in one form or another. For some reason, there are people who seem to think a shelter dog is a damaged dog. They are not. Often times, their being in the shelter simply had to do with people who didn't take the time to teach them how to live in our world. Sometimes people never teach their cute little puppies to go to the bathroom outside and then blow a gasket when they pee on the couch-- and end up dumping them. So many people get a puppy and then dump when they get big... it sucks. My dogs were all given up- wether by being tossed out of a truck on the highway, tossed away because they weren't worth the breeding anymore, or just abandoned in a shelter. I love them all.. the people who gave up on them really missed out.

My oldest 2 dogs are Matisse and Virgil Humperdink Rat Terrier Extraordinaire. They both have traveled all over with me and have been with me since babies. Every Christmas since they were little, I have gotten them presents. I have no human children, so I always get them as much as I can. They know what presents are. Many years I would get them new beds, and treats and toys and toys and toys.. and dog present Christmas present opening time was like a mad house. It was fun. It was messy and they would all play and destroy the toys and end up in a tired heap in the floor amongst piles of smiling stuffed Santas and stuffing plucked from toy reindeers.

This year, things have not really been going so well. For the first time since adopting Matisse (16 years ago), I didn't go out and spend a bunch on dog toys and wrap them up like I usually did. Things have been tough. Like so many people, I haven't been able to find full time work.. I make and sell art-- but the selling part is hard. I have had to cut back and this year -- well, I had to cut back to no Christmas presents for the dogs.. and, although I know they have no idea it was Christmas, I did. I was feeling pretty bummed. It actually was making me sadder than I ever imagined it would.

But then something happened....

An unexpected package arrived at my door. When I opened it I was like whoaaaaaa a box full of dog toys! Some friends of mine from miles and miles away had gotten together and made some handmade dog toys for my "kids"... coolest thing ever! It was so awesome to open that and I was like oh man now I don't have to break my 16 year dog present streak! I decided to wait until Christmas Eve and let dogs have them then..

The next day another.. a bigger box arrived at the front door. It was from my brother and I assumed he had gotten me something large for Christmas like a life sized statue of Tom Cruise...but, I decided to wait to open it also on Christmas Eve..

Well, its Christmas Eve and I opened that large package and my brother had sent me a nice necklace. the big part wasn't for me though... It was for the dogs. It seems their Uncle had gone to the pet store and picked out every Christmas dog toy collection and wrapped them all up together.

So the dogs got to open their gifts and they didn't have to go a Christmas with no toys. Beula, who is the newest addition to my family, had her first Christmas with me.. when she came into the room and saw the massive pile of toys she just stood and stared for a moment. She picked something out and went to try and hide it... I told her it was ok, but she seemed suspicious of the whole thing. The other dogs were going to town because they knew.. they knew it was that magical time of year that they get a huge quantity of toys and that their next step would be to destroy them and leave a mound of stuffing in the living room. Next year, Beula will know and she won't take her toy and hide away. This may be her first Christmas.. her first pile of toys.. I don't know... she was one of those dogs who was adopted as a baby... and dumped when she got big. So now she is mine and tonight she is sound asleep after learning about cool things that arrive in surprise packages by the front door. She learned about Christmas and good friends from far away and thoughtful family.

Virgil Humperdink Rat Terrier Extraordinaire is in awe over the large amount of Christmas toys.. he said he would have never gotten such gifts in the puppy mill he came from.

Matisse is an expert now on Christmas toy time. He is pretty old now so he got to have a special toy time before the wonder twins were let loose. He hasn't really played for months.. but, he had a few moments and it made me so happy to see him have a little bit of time where he seemed young again.

Bella is still pretty hesitant to go all nuts with the toys. This is her second Christmas with me and considering the condition she was in when I got her.. I bet this is probably her second Christmas ever. When I first got her, she didn't even seem to know what toys were. Her foster mother who took such good care of her, was one of the toy makers - so that makes the handmade toys extra special. you can see one up in the top left corner.. the one with the crazy eyes.

Beula had her first Christmas here and took off with a stuffed Christmas tree to go and hide it. She didn't seem to understand that it was ok and that the big pile of toys was for her. Usually she loves the camera and I can't keep her out of the shot, but she was on the move here. She is Sylvia's sister and this is their first Christmas together. Sylvia set her straight though.. she showed her how it was done.

Jillian Jones Appalachian Dog went crazy- like she does every year.. so crazy that this is probably the most focused pic I got of her.

Sylvia remembered and instead of just picking one, she just laid down on them all. She fell on love with one of the handmade toys and stowed it away in her kennel for later. Then she went back to one her Uncle had given her and worked to remove the stuffing. It didn't take long for her to show her sister that they didn't even need to choose just one- that they could stuff 2 or 3 in their giant mouths.

Sir Nigel Longbottom is missing from these pictures due to naughtiness. He really only likes to play on his own anyway. He does not find it dignified to play tug a war with others. He likes alone time to play so he will have some tomorrow with me. He has an affinity for tennis balls that do not even fit in his chihuahua mouth.

Merry Christmas! Thank you John and the girls from IA.. the dogs thank you and I do to.. because I had a blast watching them... now I have to sweep though.. it looks like it snowed in here and I see pieces of Santa Clause tossed around the living room... it kind of looks like a cartoon murder took place in here. the dogs are happy though.. and quiet... except for the snoring.

Why are they not chosen?

2011-12-20T21:44:00.000-08:00

I have volunteered in shelters for many years. When I was a kid, my Dad would drive me to the Kiya Koda Humane Society in Indianola, IA where I would walk dogs and feed cats. It was a great experience and I, of course, fell in love with many of the animals I met. I remember one little bitty dog that I was helping to brush. Some people were there looking to adopt and I remember being in shock over how they didn't choose that little one. It was the most perfect dog in the world I thought. Years later, I went back to that same shelter as an adult and found my own perfect dog- Matisse.

One of the shelters I volunteered with later was the Animal Lifeline. They are a small no kill shelter in Des Moines, IA. I would go on a Friday night with a friend and we would walk dogs and clean cat cages and give meds. Back in those days, I had started college to become a vet.. I never did become a vet.. I came out an artist instead. The no kill shelter was great in that I knew every animal would be there the next time I went into work.. and if not, their absence was a good thing because it meant they had a home. That shelter specialized in injured and abused animals. I saw so many horrendous things. Animals beaten so badly they had to have limbs removed and bones set. I learned there what bait puppies were. At that shelter, I also saw time and again the horrendous aftermath of what puppy mills do to dogs... prolapsed uterus, rotten teeth, dogs that looked 10 that were only 2. I held warm packs to cats who were recovering from amputation and talked softly to dogs with litters who had been left behind in abandoned homes. It was a very good learning experience and it was there that I learned why heavy gloves should be used when handling a cat hoarder's victim. ouch. But, I always wondered how so many of the animals never left. They stayed and stayed. I kept wondering why did not anyone chose this one or that one.. they were so perfect... why were they not chosen? Some never were. They lived out their lives in that little shelter and those broke my heart the most, because I knew them. I knew how amazing they were and I just never could understand why they never were chosen.

Years later, after tons of non vet college, I volunteered at a small rural shelter in TN. The Newport shelter is were I began this whole project. When I began they had high euthanasia rates and were in the start of their rolling rescue program. Through the efforts of so many to send animals off to other no kills, their rates have declined. Many times though I wondered why the no kill rescues were not interested in one dog or another. I wondered why they wouldn't choose a hound I found particularly friendly or a beautiful mop of a dog that sat patiently in her kennel. That was a hard place to be. It was there that I photographed the euthanasia. I saw dogs and puppies die and it was the most horrible thing. The whole time I just didn't understand why not one of them were chosen? Why wasn't there someone out there who could have loved that red bone coonhound or given that pit mix puppy a chance? Why not them? Why couldn't they have been sent to safety or to a home? On one hand, I saw miracles there. I saw dogs sent to New York who ended up on national TV and living on Park Avenue, but I also saw dogs die because they weren't chosen. While there, I was able to do something amazing. I drove the rescue van up to New York with 30 something dogs and puppies to safety at no kills. I was elated and tired when I arrived, but when I walked into the massive warehouse of a building at the SPCA my heart sank a bit. It wasn't because they were not taken care of - they were well taken care of.. may people working there to save every life they could. What upset me was the sheer numbers. I don't know how many, but cage after cage. I don't know how many that were there were never going to be chosen to be adopted. I know I heard many wonderful stories about our TN dogs and how they were chosen. But, what about the rest? I still wonder if there are any there today still waiting that were there in 2006 when I went.

Now I find myself going to the Miami Dade Animal Services in Miami Florida. I was drawn to them due to the massive numbers they take in and the high numbers that never make it out to safety. When I started, I just went in to take my pics to use in my art and did not announce my visits or talk with anyone. One trip changed that in that I caught an especially sad image of a dog. I was terrified she would never be seen because she was so scared. I knew no one would see her the way I did. I knew no one would choose her.. so I put her picture online. It helped. She did find a home. So now, when I go, I try to go through the pictures as quickly as I can because I know their time is limited.. just too many coming in constantly. I post those the images that come out really well and/or those dogs who connected with me or that I think just needed that extra help. I miss so many though, but I try. I post them on Facebook and people share them and it seems to have helped some. Not all though. Still, no matter how many times they are shared and no matter how many eyes fall upon that dog or no matter how many people meet the dog it is still not chosen. I find it heartbreaking to read that a dog I had hopes for has been euthanized. It happens all the time. Why could not someone have just chosen that dog or that puppy? Why couldn't a no kill have chosen that one? Below is the picture of one such dog. Her name was Brown Eyes. She waited for someone to take her. She had her picture circulated online. She attended an adoption event.. and none of it worked... no one chose her.. and she died.

The sad thing is that no matter wether a dog or a cat is in a kill or a no kill shelter.. if they are never chosen they either are left to live their entire life in a cage or they have their life ended too soon. There is nothing wrong with the unchosen other than no one wanted to or could take them away and give them a life. I will never know why one is chosen over another. It is hard.. when you go to adopt it can be overwhelming in the shelter.. there are so many. That is the problem though. There are too many. Until we, as a society, stop breeding our pets and start adopting there will be millions unchosen every year. You may hear numbers quoted as to how many millions are killed each year in shelters.. think about how those numbers can be lessened if only we choose to do the right thing and adopt and not breed our pets. Also keep in mind that while millions die in shelters over not begin chosen .. millions more languish in cages waiting to be chosen year after year. If you find yourself wanting a pet.. adopting is the way to go. You not only get to choose a fantastic new member for your family, but you also get to choose to save a life.. and that is a pretty cool choice to make.

2011-12-11T05:32:00.001-08:00

I have been wanting to make videos about the shelter animals for sometime now. This is just my first one using the photos from the last visit. Please pass it on... I am hoping that if people can just see the great animals that are waiting at the shelters.. then they will adopt.. or foster.. or volunteer.. or give... or simply work to educate others. We have a big problem, too many animals die in out shelters every year because of societies inaction to save them and the rampant irresponsibility that exists. Please, fix your pets.. don't buy them - adopt. We, as a society, have the ability to stop the millions from being killed yearly.

2011-12-06T07:00:00.001-08:00

I went back to the shelter in Miami to take more photos. I had not been for a long time. A very long time. It just costs so much to go there since I am about 2 hours away. I decided that when I sold my last photo that it was a sign that I needed to go back.. so I did. The day that I was there they had over 400 animals. I had wanted to take photos of every one of them. However, I never got any cat photos and I thought I had all the dogs (aside from those in quarantine)... but on my way home I realized that I missed a few. Ugh. I have a lot of photos. A lot... more than I have ever taken before. It is hard to take the photos in the shelter.. I have bars and chain link to deal with.. the dogs are scared.. they are excited and they don't just sit and stay still for me. So many times I can take tons of pictures and only 1 or 2 are decent.

When I was there though, it was cool because I got to photo some of the dogs outside in the play area. I just let them run around and play and worked to capture them in a more natural way. I only got a few that way - the shelter is very busy and the volunteers and workers who help me with taking them out were awesome!

So .. here are a few of the photos.. taken at Miami Dade Animal Service on Dec. 4 2011. If you are interested in any of them or know someone who is please contact them at 7401 NW 74 St Miami, FL 33166 phone #305-884-1101. Their website is http://www.miamidade.gov/animals/

Please keep in mind I am not an employee of the shelter.. just an artist with a camera so if you have questions about the dogs please contact the shelter. Also- please note- although I do want the photos shared to help save their lives, the photos are all copyrighted. I do not give permission to use them in advertising, sales, reproductions, etc. I post them now simply to help save the dogs.. the photos are my work.. so please do not steal my work.

2011-11-19T19:51:00.001-08:00

I have offered to do some ads for the Miami Dade Animal Services. I had been doing the ones previously posted on here as just general adoption ads, but decided maybe that type of thing could help the Miami shelter since they have soooooooooo many animals needing homes. This is the first one I have created. I decided to start with the cats due to the immense numbers that never find homes. Please - post this image to your facebook page or email and send it on.. if you live in the Miami area- please print it out and post it at pet stores and where ever else you can find boards to post it. Hopefully this will work to let people think about and to actually adopt. Hopefully.

2011-10-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

I am really enjoying making the 'ads' using my dogs. This newest one is my oldest dog - Matisse. He is just about 16 years old and has been with me since he was a baby. I adopted him when I was in my early 20s. I had just bought my first home and it was a fixer upper and had been working on it for a long time. It was an exciting time for me- I would work all day in an office and then run over and strip wall paper, knock down walls, rip up carpeting and paint and then go home to my parents exhausted to sleep. I had been working on the house for several weeks and had finally gotten to the point where I would be able to live in it. I remember moving day well. I was at the house and my Mom had called and said they were ready to leave with the truck and I needed to come back ... I left my house to meet them and as I was driving over the interstate a man ran through a red light off of the interstate ramp and slammed into me. He was on his cellphone. I had to be pulled from the car - it was totaled. Luckily, my brother, who was in the passenger side, was not injured. I was not so lucky. My hand was so broke that it stuck out the side and I had so much pain everywhere. I was taken to the ER in an ambulance and I ended up not being able to move to my home that day... in fact, it was several weeks later that I was able to go back. I had worked so hard on my home and on the most exciting day I had ended up being broken and unable to continue my work. It was so depressing.

My birthday came and my Grandparents gave me a $25 check. I decided there was only one thing I wanted with that $25 and that was a dog. It was the exact amount that the local animal shelter charged for adoptions at the time. However, adopting a dog would mean that I would have to move into my home meaning I would no longer get assistance in doing things and I was still healing. But, I didn't care.. I needed something to motivate me and get me excited again.

I went to the shelter with the intent of finding a large dog or puppy that would grow to be a giant. I fell in love with a german shepherd puppy, but was told it was on hold. I was about to leave empty handed when I stopped by a pen by the door with little puppies in it. I had not looked at them when I first got there since they were little..and were not going to grow to be giants. But I stopped and looked at them. Three puppies... one looked like a poodle - one looked like a terrier and then there was one that looked much more unique. My hand was still messed up so I had to ask one of the shelter workers to pick up the little unique one- as soon as I had him in my arms I knew that I no longer needed a large dog- I needed that one. As I filled out the paper work, the person who the german shepherd was being held for called and canceled. I kept the unique puppy since I thought it was meant to be.. it was.

The puppy and I moved into my house and I was able to continue working on my home- often one handed. He was a little crazy so I decided to name him Matisse- since the artist Matisse was referred to as a wild beast. As I worked on pulling old staples out of the hardwood floors, Matisse would bring me his toy to play catch. He never stopped - he was always moving- always.

Later, I ended up selling that house and I went to college- Matisse was with me through my Associates degree- my Bachelors- and my Masters degree.. he endured the long nights I put into school and work for many years.. he never complained. He would wait patiently for me and as soon as I walked through the door he would jump up and down and up and down to greet me.. I remember thinking how nice it would be when he would get old and calm down a little.

In grad school I took Matisse to the dog park- there is a fantastic and huge one in Memphis where I lived. He would run and play catch for hours- he had so much energy and would play until he collapsed. He loved to swim- loved it. He was always jumping in the ponds at my apartment complex and he would jump in the lakes at the dog park. He always did this funny thing where he would jump up in the air as he went in.. it was the kind of thing that made all the people in the park stop, notice, and comment about it... people would see me and say "Isn't he the dog that does that jump thing in the lake?"

Matisse was with me through several jobs. Some of my jobs were so low paying that we had to live in very meager housing and sometimes I would worry how I would feed my dogs and myself. He never complained - he just dealt with the times I had to buy the cheap food and seemed to like the times I used rice to make his food go further. He made me feel a little safer in some of the scary places- like the falling apart shack I lived in when I was in Knoxville- sometimes the lock didn't catch and I knew that if he heard a sound he would let me know ...and I could jump out the back window. He was never as scared as I was living in some places.

Years after I adopted him, I moved back to my parents. My Mom had a stroke and I needed to help her as she had helped me when I had been in my car accident. Even though we had been away from my parents's house for years he remembered it.. I always thought that was his favorite of all our homes. He would curl up in bed with me when I was worried about my Mom's failing health and when she died he stayed with me - not seeming to know what to do, but knowing he must be at my side.

When I found out I had cancer I was devastated. However, Matisse was there for me - yet again. As I lay in bed healing from surgeries he stayed at the end of my bed... he would not get up until I did. He would not eat or go outside unless I had someone take him. During chemo, he would follow me to the bathroom and wait by the door until I was done being sick- he would look at me as if to ask "are you ok?". Cancer sucked, but having Matisse there made it just a little bit better.

I am healthy now, but Matisse is the one who needs me to be by his side. Sometimes he gets confused and forgets to go out to go to the bathroom. Other times he can't remember how to get out of the porch. But some days he is clear and well seeming- but, he sleeps a lot. He sleeps most of the time. Matisse no longer wants to play... it is too much for him. I finally moved into a place with a pool- but it takes too much out of him to swim... I really miss the old wild Matisse... I really do.

So, I decided to make an ad for the old dogs.. for Matisse. I don't know what I would have done without that crazy dog all these years... and it breaks my heart every time I have seen elderly pets end up in the shelter-- I think about all the times they may have stood by their person only to be dumped. I would never do that to Matisse.. I will lose him- but it will be to old age.. I would never give him up.. he is too awesome.

Please feel free to pass on Matisse's ad.. that is why make them. It is just one little thing I can try and do for all the other Matisses out there.

2011-09-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

This is my baby.. well, she doesn't look like that anymore.. she is over 60 pounds now, but still beautiful. I plan on making some more of these message pieces and just send them out online and see what happens. I have been wondering if I should add them to Zazzle or Cafe Press.. I wonder if anyone would be interested in them? I think they would be great hanging in a shelter.. I wish I had the funds to print a bunch up and send them to shelters for free.. that would be cool.

I haven't been to the shelter for a very long time. I can't find a job like so many millions so I can't afford the gas to get there. I keep hoping to find a job that will allow me to pay my bills and have a little extra so I can drive over to Miami at least once a month... but so far no such luck! Of course, I do still have many images I can work on here from past visits... I just would love to get some good images of those needing homes now and help to get them networked and hopefully get some adopted.. especially the cats. I have heard that the euthanasia rate for cats is 90%- I hope that is not true.

(I have to add my website on the bottom since it has come to my attention that people have been ripping off some of my artwork.. please keep in mind that all of my work posted has been and always is copyrighted)

2011-09-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

Everyday I look at Facebook and I see funny posts about cats and babies, political videos about angry politicians, and images of current work by my artist friends... and then I see the animals. Every single day there is a large group of people who post images of dogs, cats, horses etc. needing homes. I look at them every day and it always makes me so sad- as one person what can I even do? The numbers are just overwhelming and it never stops- never is there a day when a person posts- "no new dogs today, the shelter is empty- they have all been adopted"... this never happens. So everyday I look... and for a couple of days I kept seeing this dog....

Her name is lullaby and she is at the Miami shelter.. in comments it talks about how friendly she is.. it talks about how she was found as a stray with her baby.. and her family showed up.. except... they only took the baby. So there she sits.. in the shelter.. and among hundreds and thousands of pets needing homes she is one of the lucky ones who gets her picture posted.. she is one of the lucky ones who people have embraced online and are taking time out of their days to say something about her.. and share her image and story.. to try and help her.

So I was looking at her picture and I was thinking about how bad the shelter pictures always are. I hate that I live so far .. I hate that I can't afford the gas right now.. because I would drive over there and take a decent picture of her.. but I just can't right now. So I was thinking about the image I had created in my last post ...and of the digital work that I do.. and I thought.. well.. maybe I can at least do something about that bad photo of the poor dog... so I created this based upon her official image that is online.. it is not my best- but it was like 11 a.m. and the shelter closes at 6:30 and it has been stated that today is her last day... so I quickly created something .. and posted it.. and will see if it helps. I am going to check back later to see if someone steps up for this poor dog. I hope so... and I when I know what her fate is.. I will post it below.. until then.. I just hope the right person see her.. and she lives... because everyday I look at Facebook and I see the posts and sometimes.. sometimes.. there is one.. with a dog or cat who had been posted ... and the word below them are change ... they sometimes say "safe"... and I am hoping that is the next post I see on her.

--- According to posts I have seen on Facebook it looks like a rescue has stepped forward to help her... I am hoping that I can see some pictures of her free.. I can't wait until she is safe. It sounds like the staff at the shelter was very attached to her.

2011-09-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

Beula loves the camera.. it seems like anytime I pick up the camera to take a picture- boom there she is looking seriously into the lens. The other day I was trying to get some work done, and I picked up the camera to go and take some pics of my work to put online and there she was sitting there- waiting for her picture to be taken... that is when I shot this.

So I was moping around the house yesterday and feeling bad since I can't find a job and I can't afford to drive to Miami and take pics of the dogs and cats .. and to top it off it was 9/11. Ugh I felt like I was wasting my day and I just wanted to do something to make it more positive. I thought of the pic I had taken as I was watching something someone posted about the dogs who had helped on 9/11... so it gave me the idea to make a little message from my dog.. about how they help us.. but they need us to help them more... (If you haven't read about Beula.. go back a few entries and see when she was adopted.. it was pretty cool.)

I am working on another one with her sister Sylvia.. I thought it would be cool to make one of these every so often with my own dogs and send them out into the online world and see if it inspires anyone. Who knows... it may be sent on and it may not be.

2011-08-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

This image I had posted a while back.. I recently found out that she finally found a home!

This is one of the many images that I have available on my etsy shop .

This is another of the photos available.. I don't know what happened to this little dog- but it was so adorable- crazy hair is the best hair.

This Dog ID#A13177518 is one of my mixed media paintings about dogs/cats escaping from the shelter.. this dog wasn't even given a name.. just called This Dog... so I put him in a boat and set him out to sea... this piece I have also loaded onto my online shop.

2011-08-15T19:18:00.000-07:00

These are some of the drawings that I have done of the shelter dogs and cats.

I like to remove them from their environments and have a lot of negative space around them- to me it gives them space and peace.

They are pretty large drawings and when I first showed them I simply put velcro on the backs and attached them to the gallery wall- no glass or anything to protect them.

Today I have been adding them to my etsy shop for sale.. they really need to find homes.

The perfect shelter

2011-08-13T11:49:00.001-07:00

People argue online a lot about how a shelter should be run. Being involved in rescue work is a very emotional and draining yet incredibly fulfilling experience, but often times when involved it is hard to keep the emotion from the fact.. and I wonder how much of that leads to the failure in our country to keep from letting so many die in our shelters. I have volunteered in both "kill" and "no kill" shelters and it is most certainly easier to walk in to volunteer at the no kill than the other.... as a volunteer you have the luxury of getting attached... if you volunteer at the kill shelter and get attached you will most certainly have you heart broken- mine has been several times.

I wanted to post a picture of the dog above who had a person waiting for him in the lobby when I adopted Beula. I was going through my photos and it can be so depressing- but then this guy popped up and I had met the woman who was there to get him. He was a lucky guy and just happened to be Beula's neighbor when she was in dog jail.

When people buy my work, they often ask about the dog or cat in the image- did they make it out? they often ask.. and most of the times I do not know.. but sometimes I do and sometimes it is good and they were free- but more often than not they never found freedom... so I just wanted to post a picture of a dog- who I knew- had someone waiting for him on the outside.

2011-08-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

The wonder twins are so in love with each other.. I was just thinking how happy I am that someone took the time to post Sylvia's sister on facebook... the two just want to be together every minute of the day. Because Beula is still calming down and a bit nutty- she takes a nap in her crate in the afternoon so I can get some work done without dog wrestling all around me... and when her sister is napping- Sylvia stares at me a lot and sighs.

Check out the white spots on the back of their necks.. they match!

I don't know when I will get to Miami again... it will probably be a long time. I have been job hunting for forever (It would be nice if the art paid the bills, but that is not the case at all).... so until I can afford the gas I really can't get over there. I wonder if I called them with their other siblings number- if they would tell me if she was adopted and hopefully not returned... but I haven't tried.. I guess I worry that they will tell me that she never made it out... or they won't tell me anything...

I want to make a picture book about the sisters.. whenever they do anything awesome though the camera is in the other room.. must just keep it with me all the time if I want to catch their greatness... I wonder if I should get any pictures of their destruction- Sylvia has an intense desire to eat photo paper- it seems like she wants to get things out.. I think she likes ripping up the boxes and getting things out.. so I have been working on giving them things to do.. they really love empty juice containers filled with dog food... they are smart dogs... they need things to do that challenge them mentally and it has me thinking of toys I could make for them... and it got me thinking of how great it could be if all the shelter dogs had toys that could challenge them- I can't imagine how terrible it must be to sit in a cage.. with nothing to do... at all. No wonder Beula was so unhappy when I found her... she was a genius dog stuck in a cage where no one could see her genius abilities.

The Wonder Twins

2011-08-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

Last Fall I traveled to the Miami Dade Animal Services in Miami, FL to take pictures of the dogs and cats- I fell in love with this little girl. She came to live with me and I named her Sylvia. She was at the shelter with two other siblings who had adoption holds on them.

Sylvia was a tiny baby with a giant head when I brought her home. She grew to over 60 pounds of greatness. I was so in love with her. She had a great personality so I enrolled her in basic obedience and she did fantastic. My goal was to get her Canine Good Citizen so she could visit people in the hospital and hospice. She has since been having some internal plumbing problems and I haven't been pursuing our therapy dog dream at the moment- so she had spent the days lounging and destroying paper towel rolls in the living room. Although she has a taste for paper towel and has to be medicated I still think she is pure awesome.

One day I started to wonder about her sisters- I wondered if they had good homes too. Did they also love paper towel rolls? Did they have the same medical issue as Sylvia? Where they well taken care of? Did they have big comfy beds to lounge on? But of course, in a huge city like Miami I felt I would always just wonder since how would I ever find their families?

At the Miami Dade Animal Services over 30,000 animals are dumped there on a yearly basis. It is horrible the numbers that they have to deal with. Last year over 20,000 animals lost their lives there. Before you get angry at the staff for killing them all- just ask yourself- who dumped them there? Aren't they the responsible ones? ... but anyway, as you can see it is not a good situation to be dumped in Miami..

.... so when someone posted a blurry photo of a dog at that very shelter that looked like Sylvia on Facebook it really caught my eye. I went and grabbed her adoption papers and saw that the intake number on that dog was only 2 from Sylvia's I thought can it be? Could this be her sister?

... I drove 2 hours to Miami to find out.

... there she was.

Sylvia's sister had been saved nearly a year before and had a home.... but they dumped her... they gave up on her... they brought her back. She lay in her cage and looked very nervous.. she was scared and she barked... but I knew it was her. I knew that if she was even a tiny amount like Sylvia that she also would be pure awesome if she could get out from behind the bars.

.. I found out very quickly that she was super friendly. She quickly became best buddies with a pitbull that was being saved and sent to a rescue just North of me. Since they got along so well, I offered to drive her new friend to safety. They were very active so it was hard to get a non blurry picture.. but it was nice to see the two girls that people had given up on having such a good time in the car. It was nice to know that they were safe.

When they first met it was already dark.. and I had my hands full so I didn't get any pictures. I can assure you that they remembered each other. I had never seen Sylvia so excited. She jumped around and kissed her sister over and over again. She ran around the yard full speed and showed her how she played chase with the other dogs and then began to dig furiously in her favorite hole to show her sister how fun it was. Since her sister has been home they either spend their time playing like young puppies or sleeping together.

Sylvia's sister is now named Beula Jenkins. (hey it's the one name she always wagged her tail too) One of Sylvia's favorite activities is to go to the park and she was able to take her Beula for the first time recently... Beula acted more like a puppy than Sylvia.. she has not had her basic obedience so she kind of barreled over the other dogs.. but she made some good friends. Sylvia showed her how she likes to dig holes with her good friend Rosie (also a rescue).

So far the wonder twins can't get enough of each other.. they both share an affinity for eating paper towels and throwing pieces of them around the living room. They both love to play with empty soda bottles and they both sigh when I ask them to do something they don't want to do. When they want something they can't have they both make a strange Chewbacca sound. So far Beula does not share the plumbing problem that Sylvia has ...and I think once she calms down a bit, I will start working on her canine good citizen. She, like her sister Sylvia, is pure awesome (but a bit more destructive and a lot more energetic).

So what are the odds? I was told by an employee that day at the shelter that at the time they had over 500 animals there. What are the odds that in a shelter that takes in over 30,000 per year and had over 500 on that particular day that I would see the one? I was feeling lucky and bought a couple of lottery tickets since then- but I don't know if I will ever beat the odds again.. although I really could use a lottery win right about now... because it appears that I will need to be buying a lot of paper towels. A LOT of paper towels.

Fostering- finding a good rescue

2011-04-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

I keep reading horror stories on Facebook about fosters gone wrong. I have read about people wanting to help who are quickly overwhelmed with cats or dogs and some with no financial backing from the rescue groups for medical care. Also dogs and cats left with fosters for much longer times than they were told- a 2 week commitment becomes 2 years. People pulling dogs and cats from shelters to only drop them into boarding facilities and leaving them. It really is upsetting to know about these situations when the vast majority of experiences are good and help save the lives of shelter pets. I thought I would make a list of what a person should ask of a rescue and expect from a rescue prior to getting involved.

I have come up with a top ten for people wanting to get into fostering.. if there is something I have missed- please let me know!

1. Are they even a rescue group? Before ever getting involved with a rescue group- make sure they are an actual rescue. Strangely this can be harder than it sounds. It will definitely pay to do your research on this one. You can start by first checking with local shelters directly. Some actually have fosters built right into their programs so you would work with the shelter. You can ask shelters who they work with and get recommendations for rescues that they feel are doing a good job placing their animals and supporting their fosters.

Other resources that you can look into would be checking with local vets, training groups, as well as using the internet. www.petfinder.com is a good way to find rescue groups and you can always do an internet search to find local rescue groups as well as using social networking sites.

2. Check references. A good rescue group should be particular with checking the references of a foster- and doing home checks. I would highly suggest a foster check those of the rescue group as well. They should easily be able to provide you with contact information of a vet or vets that they routinely use as well as those who have had experience working with their group. If a rescue group is not asking questions of you such as do you own your own home or your own vet reference then that is a red flag- expect from them what they should expect from you.

3. Are they a 501c3? Basically this is a tax issue and the reason that it is important is that a 5013c status group allows donators to write off donations on their taxes. This is important since as a foster - you may be donating money to them and if they are not a 5013c then your cash donations will not mean a tax write off for you. Another reason that this is important is that by having this status means that others will be more apt to donate. Many people will not donate to those groups without it. More financial backing for the rescue means a more solid backing for the foster when it comes to being reimbursed for medical issues etc. You may also be able to donate mileage on your taxes - this becomes important with fosters who do driving for the rescues and most importantly those who become involved in transports.

4. Who is the rescue? It is important to know who you are dealing with. Is the rescue a single person making decisions- or is this a group of people? Personally, I believe that it is better to work with a group rather than a single individual. The reason is that a group will better hold the decisions made accountable.. with a single person there is no questioning of their actions. Just ask who is in charge - who are the contact people- is there a person in charge of communications with fosters? New and smaller rescue groups obviously have smaller groups and sometimes just a single person running the program. But if it is a single person and you have fosters through them and something happens to that person - then what? So like I said before my belief is that you are better protected if working through a program with more than one person running the show.

5. Does the rescue have a facility? If they do - you MUST visit it. Make sure that the place is clean and orderly. If you come across a place that is dirty and smells then run the other way. If you see animals in their care in poor condition do not work with them and instead call the authorities. All rescues with facilities should have proper food, water, vet care, and shelter for each animal in their care- if not then they are not a rescue- but a hoarder or something worse.

6. What are the rescue's goals and what is important to them? When doing foster care it is important to know what is the goal of the group. Do they want to adopt to only local people? Are they involved in transporting dogs/cats to other states? Are the fosters expected to provide long term or short term care? You need to know what you are getting in to. Rescues should be very particular in who they adopt to and the more particular - that may mean it will take longer to find the perfect home for your foster. Also be leery of rescue groups who just adopt out to anyone with no input from the foster in regards to temperament and personality of the foster they have in their care. If a rescue is not particular of who takes in their pets - then how can you be sure that the animal that you have cared for and invested time and money into is going to be properly cared for?

7. Are the fosters involved in the adoption process? Some groups have the fosters very much involved and others not at all. I have seen people at the local dog park who have fostered who meet up with the owners of fosters that they helped- it is a very nice thing to see. As a foster, you will get attached. Do you want a say in who adopts the animal or do you want to be hands off? Do you want to be updated on how they are doing in the future? It is important that a rescue group listen the foster about who the foster feels should adopt... the foster will know the dog/cat/ horse/ etc. temperament and needs more than anyone. Be wary of a rescue who does not want foster's opinion. As a foster you would not want a dog who you discovered hated children to be placed in a home with children. It is important to have input- but how much depends on the rescue that you choose.

8. Who pays? Generally, a reputable rescue group will pay the medical bills of fosters. Not all do. It is important to know how this is handled before jumping in. Ask how the process works if they do pay- usually you would have to pre approve any vet visits. Make sure this is all in writing. This is actually a HUGE issue and is one that has prompted me to write this. I have unfortunately read more than one story about how a foster took in sick animals and was left with large bills causing them to be late on their own personal payments. As a foster you are - more than likely- expected to be paying for food- toys- bedding- and transportation. Do not work with a group who will not pay medical bills unless you can truly afford it- and in addition- if you are paying medical bills of a group that is a 5013c this may also help when tax time comes if you pay the vets through the group.

Make sure anything regarding medical payments is in writing- email - whatever- you need to make sure that you are protected as a foster parent. Also make sure that you know how they will reimburse you and what the time frame is. Some groups do not take in much money and you may have to wait a long time before you ever see the money- make sure that you can handle it if this is the case. An example of how much of a burden this can be - a while back I took in a poodle from a backyard breeder. I was not working with a rescue group- she was mine-- but it ended up costing over $1,000 in medical bills due to the severe neglect that the poor dog endured. It is amazing how the bills add up. Unless you are rolling in money then I would HIGHLY suggest you work only with groups who reimburse and are very clear on their process.

9. What are the limits? A good rescue (as mentioned before) has a process for evaluating foster parents.... one of those things they should be taking into account are what pets the foster already has and how many can the foster take. A rescue group should not just pull out an indefinite number of animals without having places for them to go. If they are simply pulling dogs/cats to place with a limited number of fosters then there needs to be a limit. Fosters should not be turned into hoarders. Even though a foster is a temporary situation- there needs to be a plan for the animal in their care and a limit as to how many a person can have in their care at any one time.

As a foster a person must know that they cannot save them all. A person must know their limit. When a person takes on too many there are too many problems- especially of a person has also taken on the responsibility of paying medical bills and for food. Remember- a foster is just a temporary home and the foster's home should NOT become the shelter. Just as a foster needs to know when they cannot take on more- a rescue group does as well. A good rescue group will not give a foster too many to care for.

10. Can you emotionally handle it all? This is a very important question. Make sure before you get into fostering that you can take it. You will get attached, but you need to be able to let go. A good rescue will be one that lets you know of any updates on pets that you have helped once they go to their forever homes. Some people try fostering and fail- they can't let go and be sure that when you take in a pet that there is the option for you to adopt if you find the perfect pet through the process.

Going back to number 9- some rescue groups can play with a person's emotion by telling people that if they don't do more then the animals in the shelters will die. Because of this, that is why some people take in more than they handle. Stay away from a rescue that guilts... they are doing more harm than good. It is important to know that by fostering a single dog or cat that you ARE making a difference. By having a single one or a couple then you can provide them much more care than if you had a house full. A good rescue should know this. I have multiple dogs.. I like having multiple dogs and can handle it - but I also know that I cannot take in any more without having it take something from my own dogs... no matter how emotional I get when I see the sad faces of the animals on death row- I know I am doing a better thing by giving the dogs I have the best life instead of loading my house with new dogs.

Fostering can be a fantastic experience that is so rewarding for the foster. Fostering saves lives. Most fostering is a very positive thing- but those few bad stories can put a black eye on foster programs. It is important to do your homework when opening your home to pets in need. Most rescues are very good- but we need to make sure that to get the best experience fostering and provide the best outcome for out foster pets- then we must choose the best rescue groups to work with.

art prints

2011-03-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

I have been adding art prints to my etsy shop

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Lundberg

I have also been adding images to my main page

www.marylundberg.com

-- I am setting up a way to purchase them there also... but I haven't figured out how to add shipping yet.. so it is a little iffy now.. however- I do have many available images listed there- so please let me know if there is anything you like and I can set it up for you!

All of my prints are limited edition in series of 52 and come in a variety of sizes 8x10 ($52) 5x7($35) 4x6($25) and ACEO (baseball card size) ($10) .. the photos are currently being printed on some very nice metallic paper.. as are some of the digital works.. all of the images aside from the ACEO are matted and so all you need to do is provide a frame- I do have frames available at an additional cost.

kitten funerals and art

2011-03-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

The above image is a digital piece I created using a photo from a dog in the TN shelter that I had begun the project in. In fact, this dog was one of the first two that I had planned on using for the first portrait in the beginning. She was a beautiful pit or pit mix and so very friendly- she had puppies - I do not know what happened to them.. she was just skin and bones- I could feel every rib on her when I ran my hand over her scar covered body. It really struck me that no matter how horrible her condition she was happy. I remember how she didn't want me to leave her. I remember how she wiggled all over as she was petted and she constantly looked like she was smiling. She is one of the dogs that really makes me feel guilty when I work - guilty if I don't do the best that I can.

I took my work to the pet expo this weekend and I can't say that it was a striking success... people were very complimentary on my work- but some people wouldn't look at it simply because it involved shelter animals.. that really broke my heart. Some people didn't want to look at the work since it was of dogs/cats from the Miami Dade Animal Services and they - as if my subject matters had a choice of the shelter they ended up in... that broke my heart also. But most people were very interested and I hope that they check back in on the project and tell their friends.

While I was at the expo I got word that one of the foster kittens had passed away. When I got home I found another had passed as well. It is so unfair that those poor babies were born into the sickness that their mother picked up in the shelter. It is so unfair that their mother who was healthy became infected with a terrible URI in a place that is supposed to be a shelter. I don't know that I will ever make a piece of art about the kittens.. I am tired... and I am not sure if a drawing or painting or photo will ever make a difference.

2011-03-25T17:26:00.000-07:00

The race is on for rescues to get as many dogs and puppies from the Miami shelter out before the big sterilization begins. I do not know how many have been saved and I do not know how many saved will end up becoming ill.. and of those who become ill how many will have distemper and how many a curable URI?

I am so torn on the issue. Today I thought my little foster cat family was out of the woods- Mom is clear and eating well and her coat is again shiny- but just this morning the babies are becoming sick. One is very ill and I am worried that we may lose this one... the vet has Mom on more meds and all I can do is make sure she gets them and hopefully enough is passed through her milk to save her babies. It is so heartbreaking to see the tiny little ones suffer. I knew taking them in that there was a possibility of sickness-- and due to my lack of cats I felt that I would make a good foster because of the inability for the illness to spread... but this is what bothers me...

All of the dogs and puppies who are being released from the Miami shelter have a 50/50 chance of being infected. I know the rescue groups are familiar with the quarantines and the treatments if needed- but I worry about the others. I worry that in a sensational move the shelter may be inflicting disease into the public. I worry about the families who bring home a puppy may be also bringing home a disease that spreads to their other animals and they may not be prepared for it. I worry about the people who adopt who a week from now take their seemingly healthy dog to the dog park and a few days later find it is sick-- but not before it spread the illness.

I hope to god that the staff at the shelter is educating each and every good hearted person who adopts what they may be getting in to. I think a better way for this whole situation would have been to allow experienced rescues in to take whatever they could- close down adoptions for a length of time and quarantine the remaining - treating if possible if they became sick.. once it was over the dogs who never got sick could safely be adopted out the public... but what do I know-- I am just an artist.

(the above picture is not of current dogs in the shelter - it was taken about a month ago.. but it is very representative of what is currently in the shelter)

Art, kittens, sneezing, tragedy and hope

2011-03-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

So the first good news is that on this Saturday I will be taking my work to the Pet Expo in West Palm beach. I am so looking forward to being able to talk to the many pet lovers about the work that I am doing... I am just finishing up a painting to take - it is the one above. That image is from a photo I took of a dog in the Miami Dade Animal Services in late January. I do not know the fate of that dog... I do not know the fate of most of the thousands of pictures of dogs and cats I have. It can be crippling to think about it- but I must keep my head up and just keep making art -- and slowly but surely more and more people will see this- and see the faces of those that end up tossed aside by our society.. this is what I know how to do- I make art.

Now another thing big event has happened in my life... that being the cat I am now fostering. She became very sick- very sick! I had called the vet to take her in and when I went to put her in the crate I saw that she had her babies. Four tiny little ones- she was so sick that she was not caring for them and I scooped the whole family up and ran to the vet. She has a URI- which is like a very bad cold and spreads quickly in shelters- the poor thing had all kinds of goo running out of her nose and eyes and sounded like Darth Vadar. The vet cleaned up the babies and mentioned that they were too tiny- but seemed strong. Mom cat was given fluids and has been on antibiotics to clear up the sickness - she is doing so much better now and has become an ideal mother! The images above are of her and her babies- so tiny- but now that their mom is getting better- they are growing like weeds!

Now for the tragedy--- today I got word via posts on facebook that the Miami Dade Animal Services was going into lockdown due to illness. At first I thought it was just internet panic.... but it appears that many dogs have distemper... an unconfirmed source says over 50. The shelter is suspending many services and will no longer take in owner surrenders. They are going to do a massive clean- but what does that mean for the animals? Evidently that means that for now the cats are ok... what it means that there is great fear that the dogs not adopted or fostered out today will die. It is hard to know for sure.

One news source stated that there are over 500 dogs/puppies in the shelter right now. That number is insane- really. The news has stated that the director is saying there will be no mass kill off- but then what will they do with the hundreds of dogs not saved today? They say that dogs and puppies will be adopted out as normal with a disclaimer for possible distemper- will they all be tested upon entry to the shelter or prior to adoption? If no owner surrenders are allowed- then what will happen to the hundreds of dogs and cats surrendered each week to the shelter. It all just leaves so many questions to be answered. One thing I do know is that the entire day I have seen non stop posting on the subject on my facebook feed. I do know that at this very moment rescue groups all over the area are scrambling to save who they can from the shelter and that there has been much begging for foster care today.

Here is what I do know also- when I began this art project a few years ago it was at an animal shelter in rural TN. At the time the shelter had a incredibly high kill rate and there were times when the animals picked up infections- they spread and then many died in mass kills to stop the spread. However, during my time there things were changing under a new director. The mass kills stopped and the place became cleaner. As I volunteered there I worked with the dogs/cats who were to be transported and we were taught and hounded on to be vigilant with washing our hands and disinfecting our shoes as we entered the area. I worked with many cases of parvo puppies in that area and many cases of URIs in cats/kittens. We did lose some - but not many. As most shelters they needed more volunteers/money/ and support-- but unlike many shelters such as MDAS they stopped killing when parvo broke out- they contained it- they fought it and they often won. So that leaves me with hope. Things look bleak right now for the Miami shelter.. but I have seen things turn around elsewhere and I know it can happen in Miami.. So I have hope.

Here is a rescue group working on saving the dogs and puppies from this situation- I know there are many- I am sure they could use some extra financial help right now- please donate if you are able.

Eyes of an Angel Pet Rescue

This group is who I am fostering through- they are very determined to save as many cats/kittens at they can in the shelter.

Undercats4life

Things that Amaze Me

2011-03-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

Tux ID A1330524

Hercules ID A1333051

Unknown name/ID (sorry) I was told is a senior

Joey ID A1331538

Torie ID A1331880

Garfield A1331489

Bronco ID A1332816

Boomer ID A1332534

Princess ID A1332639 and Wrinkles ID A1281860

I woke up a couple of days ago and was missing my cat - Stub the Wonder Kat. I lost him this last winter after having him in my life for 18 years. He was pretty much the coolest cat that ever graced this planet. He had a little nub for a tail that he wiggled when he was excited. I had gotten him as a tiny kitten when I lived in Central Florida and he died an old cat after I moved to South Florida. I really loved that cat and it was especially hard since only a few months earlier I had lost my 20 year old cat Escher - they both died with large tumors invading their bodies... I found that especially cruel since I had just beat cancer prior to their deaths.

So I woke up missing Stub. Not sure why since months had passed since he died, but for some reason I just really missed him. Since his death I have looked at countless numbers of cats up for adoption, but I always walked away feeling depressed. I had just resigned myself to being the crazy dog lady with no cats.

Later that same day I logged on to Facebook and was reading through the mountains of posts asking for help for dogs and cats at one shelter or another. It is always to heartbreaking to read the posts knowing that the person posting may be the only one advocating for each animal's freedom... and then there are follow up posts and begging and sometimes one has been adopted or fostered... but then there are the follow up posts that say R.I.P. and those always suck the most because no matter how hard someone tried it didn't matter. I have been drawing some of the ones I see in the R.I.P. folders... that is why I started this project to say something about the ones who mattered so little in our society that they died... but damn that is depressing. However, the time and energy that people put into it amazes me.

Something in amongst the mass quantity of pleas and images of dogs and cats caught my eye - pleas for help with pregnant cats.

Fostering is something I have never officially done- and it seemed a good idea... that way I could help a cat. So I let a rescue group that posts regularly on Facebook know I was interested... and the next day I was off to get my foster.

The drive to Miami is across a stretch of highway called Alligator Alley. It goes across the state and across the Everglades. It takes about 2 hours to get there and is flanked by two canals that are home to many alligators. I like the drive - it is beautiful ... never ending expanse of sawgrass and tons of heron, egret, and other large birds are always seen whenever I go. The drive across this beautiful state amazes me every time I go.... So I drove through the wilds of Florida into the large city of Miami - a haven for bad drivers and strangely designed roads.

I met with a woman from the rescue group who was waiting for my foster to be released. The wait times at the shelter are astronomical so I took my Iphone to the back to get some pictures. The first thing I noticed was something that I never have encountered much of before- volunteers walking dogs! I was so surprised - there were many and they seemed happy- no one ever has seemed happy when I had gone before. Maybe I just went on the wrong days- maybe I had only picked days of great grumpiness before. I dunno.

I took several pictures and as I wandered around I talked to other people looking at the huge number of dogs and cats up for adoption. In the cat room I came across a man and his daughter. I asked if they were adopting. He said no- he was waiting to pick up his pet who was just fixed- he said he was back there with his daughter- to show her what happens when people are not responsible. I told him he was a great father (I probably freaked him out a little since i got really excited) ... but really that is a great lesson... it was amazing to see a father taking the time to teach such an important lesson... I should have told him about how many times as a teacher I had kids tell me that their pets just had another litter that they had to get rid of.. I wish their parents had taught them about responsibility as well... it always amazed me and saddened me how many times I heard those stories.

Finally the unwed pregnant cat that I had come for was ready. She looks a bit like Stub the Wonder Kat did... I think it is a sign. (Except of course she has a giant belly full of kittens) She was so happy and seemed to know she was going someplace better. On the way home she hardly cried and every time I heard a squeak I was just sure she had produced a kitten-- but no kittens yet. (I had decided if they did show up on the way home I would have to name them Dodge, Ram, and Truck in honor of their birthing vehicle).

So we made it home without shooting out any kittens. She acts like she has always been here... I am keeping her in the guest room for now- I want her to get more settled before I introduce her to the hounds. Already she wants out though and has banged on the door. I hope she gets settled before my Dad arrives- won't he be surprised when he finds out he has to share the guest room with a very round and very happy cat.

All of the above images are dogs/cats that I saw in the Miami- Dade Animal Services- if interested in any of them PLEASE contact the shelter- lat year over 20,000 died in that shelter...if you know anyone in the Miami area who may be interested in adopting a pet - please share this with them! The images I have posted are but a small number of the homeless pets waiting for someone to save them.

sickness

2011-02-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

I want to be able to get back to the Miami shelter soon... I have hopes that I can once again get a good enough shot of a dog or cat and use it to help them... but I have been sick. I am waiting until the cold that doesn't seem to ever want to go away will go away... going to the shelter is hard enough so I would rather be clear headed when I go.

In the meantime, I have been following the dog from the picture that I had posted online. Her name is now Sunshine and she had been adopted. Shortly after her adoption, she was dropped off at another persons home due to the initial adopter not being able to care for her. She became sick and the new adopter had to take her to the emergency room. It seems that initially she was diagnosed with pneumonia and given medications. The costs quickly added up and her new people reached out to the community on Facebook to raise funds for her care. Many people responded and she eventually was taken to another vet and put on an IV. Her new people were overwhelmed and realized that they were in over their heads. Again they reached out to the community and another foster home was just found.

Her new foster is better able to handle her IV medications and appears to be someone who has worked with many sick dogs so it seems she is in a better situation. I am keeping my eye on her. I receive messages on a daily basis asking how she is doing.. and she is sick- but safe for the moment. I do know that she will need a forever home and once I have more information about how best to contact about adopting her or helping her in any way I will post a link....

dog beach- dog park

2011-02-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

So I am a dog park addict. I decided when I adopted Sylvia that I would do everything right with her (basically everything I failed at with my two oldest dogs). One major thing is socialization. I began taking her to the park once a week... then it became twice... and last week we discovered the mother of all greatness- the dog beach... I am trying to figure out a way that I can make a living going to the dog park/beach everyday.

One of the cool things at the dog park is that so many of the dogs there are adopted. I love to talk to people about their stories.. some people just found their dog, some went to a shelter or found theirs on petfinder. It is pretty cool. I would love to collect stories about the saved ones- dogs and cats.

I am hoping that eventually I can collect stories and images from dogs/cats saved from the shelters that I take pictures at. I would love to make a book about it... I also had the best idea for an installation piece yesterday... I have a lot of work to do.. then I need to find a space...

the pic above is Sylvia at the magical dog beach.. oh man - she hates baths and won't go near the pool- but once she got her feet in the water at the beach she would hardly come out. It is hard to remember her as a tiny too skinny puppy sitting behind bars when I see her out playing. I hope she has no memory of that place... she runs in her sleep... I hope her dreams are all about the park.

One Saved - Hundreds, Thousands, Millions More

2011-01-29T11:01:00.000-08:00

The most amazing thing - the image I posted with the dog in the corner- it saved her. Just this morning I saw a picture of her during her car ride home. It is truly wonderful to be a part of saving one of the many dogs I saw when I went to the shelter. So many people stepped up and tagged the photo and passed it on and because of that she is safe.

But I can't help but wonder about the rest of them. So many other dogs and cats sit in the shelter waiting for someone to save them also. The cat above is just one of them... and the pictures that I take are only of the ones I see. I have only seen the ones out in the adoption area... from what I understand there is a whole other area full of ones who will never get a chance.. such as the pit bulls who, no matter how wonderful and trained and socialized a dog they may be- will never even get a chance to see the adoption floor because they are deemed illegal. Another group that I have not seen in the adoption area are the mothers with litters... what happens to them?

So I celebrate one small victory, but mostly I use it as fuel to move on. I use it as an example of what can happen... and I hope to god that I am able to take more pictures that can move people the way that image did.

images and the internet.

2011-01-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

wow, the last image I posted on here really got to me. I went home after taking it and there it was just popping up in my every thought.

When I do go to the shelter, it is always heartbreaking to me. I am essentially just documenting what I see- the various dogs and cats behind bars. I take my pictures and go home and generally set them aside for a few days. Generally, I do not work on a piece immediately because the whole experience of going to the shelter is very upsetting to me. I never know if the dogs and cats I see and talk to and photograph will live or die. When I do work on them I destroy much of what I do because I often make a piece or work on a photo and think it is not good enough. There is a large burden that I feel on my shoulders every time I approach this work, because I may be showing the world the last glimpse of an innocent dog or cat. I find the work depressing, but I do it anyway because I feel that I need to.

Today I did something different. Today I was so bothered by a single image that I had taken that I decided to post it on my Facebook page and a couple of rescue sites. I did not think there would be much of a response- but I was wrong.

It seems that the image did move people as it did me... and it seems that the dog may be safe. I am holding my breath until I know for sure. She currently has two holds on her and needs to be spayed before being sent to safety. I will be so relieved to know she is in safe hands...

Check out the link below for one page of comments following my post on a rescue site. It is very heartwarming to see such a response!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150129496971414&set=o.126683914042497&notif_t=photo_comment

But there are so many more.. so many... I posted some more pics from that same trip above.... these are raw unaltered photos-- some may end up in my work and some may not...

2011-01-27T06:02:00.000-08:00

While I was there yesterday, this girl was taken out of her kennel and brought into another room for a few minutes. It was during that walk that I was able to see she is full of milk and terrified beyond belief. As they walked her back to her kennel she was shaking uncontrollably and I knelt down to pet her. I could see at that time she was so full of milk for her babies it looked as though she would burst. I wanted to ask where he babies were, but I knew the answer would be.

After they put her back in her kennel- she went to the corner and sat there. The entire time I was there she did not move. It completely broke my heart.

bad press - good cats

2011-01-26T19:17:00.001-08:00

After seeing the news piece below I decided it was time to go again to get images from the Miami shelter. I had realized that in my trips before I had no pictures of cats from there....

http://www.wsvn.com/features/articles/carmelcase/MI90897/

There were many cats, but not as many as I had expected. For 22,000 being killed last year,, I got to thinking about the dogs and cats that make it to the adoption area versus the ones that don't. I wonder what the percentages are that make it? I wonder how long they get?

I fell in love with all the cats and wanted to take some home- and I will adopt one or two in the future. I lost my two cats this last year- ages 18 and 20- I have gone to look at adoptable cats on numerous occasions, but I just don't feel like I am ready for another one yet-- but when I am I think it/they will be from Miami.

The cats are given shoe boxes to hide in and many of them just hid while I was there- like this one #a1321958.

2011-01-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

I am needing to go back to the shelter very soon. I didn't get all the numbers on the dogs- plus I have no cat pictures yet. I like this image.. there is something about it.. I might do something with it. I remember on this day there were a ton of bullterriers (the little one on the right). I see them a lot on the website... I do not know, but I hope they have a local bull terrier rescue group because they have many of them- obviously purebred. I wonder what people pay for them from breeders and if know they could get one for $75 at the shelter?

miami

2011-01-15T14:45:00.000-08:00

So it has been a long time since I have updated this poor blog! A long long long time!

I am still working on the project, but I have moved to Florida and I have my eyes set upon the Miami-Dade Animal Services. It is not my local shelter, but a two hour plus drive away from here. On my first trip I went with the intention of finding a large scary looking guard dog. I have many dogs, but none had that guard look about them. I had read that in the last year the shelter had euthanized around 20,000 dogs and cats. I had to check out this place for myself.

The shelter is a busy one - very busy. I spent an hour or so looking at the big dogs, but all of the ones that I was interested in had holds on them. I then decided to look at puppies. I had not had a puppy in 13? years or so and I wasn't sure I wanted to do the house training - but then I set my eyes upon her. Sylvia Miami Tiger Dog of the Atlantic came to live with me and I began my work on the project again.

(My tiny 11 pound Sylvia was so sick when I brought her home. She was as tiny as my Chihuahua Sir Nigel Longbottom Ferocious Chihuahua of the East and is now about 50 pounds.)

(Sylvia Miami Tiger Dog of the Atlantic at her graduation from beginning obedience class- she really is not as thug as she looks - it is the camera angel... not very slimming)

All shelters have identification on the cages (or should have) for the dogs and cats inside. On the highly busy ones there is often times just a number given. Sometimes they arrive with a name and sometimes a worker or volunteer takes the time to give them one. I have been thinking a lot about the numbers assigned to them. When I brought Sylvia home- she wore a plastic collar with her identifying number. I kept it on her for awhile... I am not sure why.

I have been thinking also about the idea of the freedom of the dogs/cats and how they find freedom in this world though adoption and freedom through the next world through the euthanasia. I was thinking about the idea of escape and I thought about creating work using their images in "The great escape" and to create worlds in which they can be escaping ... the image below is the first completed piece in this series. I am using both drawing and painting in this work... each one is titled with the number assigned the animal.. and this is included on the image.

I hope to update this blog more regularly...honestly, I go long stretches without touching this work- it really upsets me to work on it sometimes because I remember what it was like in that euthanasia room in TN... horrible... this work depresses me. But I think of Sylvia and I start to wonder if her siblings ever found homes.. and I realize that if I don't continue the work it will all be for nothing.. PLUS I have an event coming up.. in W Palm Beach in March... more details so come later....

This DOG- ID#A1317518

2009-09-13T18:20:00.000-07:00

Pictures!

2009-09-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

I finally have some pics from the Simpson College show.... the work is up at Farnham Galleries until the 18th... so there is still time to go....

2009-08-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

"The Real and the Imagined"

Farnham Galleries

Simpson College

Indianola, IA

September 1-18. 2009

Opening reception Thursday September, 3

5-6 (but really till 7 :) cuz I won't let them lock up early)

Farnham Galleries - located on the 3rd floor of Mary Berry Hall on North C St in Indianola

Hours are Monday- Friday 8am to 4:30pm

Additional hours upon request 515-961-1761... hey call if you want in on a Saturday!

The body of work for the “Real and the Imagined” is inspired by and comes from my time volunteering at the Newport Animal Shelter in Newport, TN. While there, I witnessed so many pets brought in and the vast amount of energy the workers and volunteers exuded to save them. I felt the best way that I could make a difference was to make art about what I saw. I was not a bystander and instead rolled up my sleeves and worked as hard as the rest. While there, I was even fortunate enough to be able to take a vanload of dogs to safety in New York through a rolling rescue program. The work is very personal since I was a part of it.

My original intent was to stay with the shelter for a year and to make portraits to honor the dogs and cats that were not lucky enough to be on the transport to safety or to find homes. Unfortunately, I was only able to be there a short time after my Mother became very ill and I needed to move back to Iowa. The project changed from mere portraits as I suddenly found myself working with the information I had gathered during my time there and having to move states away. While working on this project I dealt with the loss of my Grandmother, my Mother, my Grandfather, and I have recently been diagnosed with cancer. The work is not solely about the portraits at all now and has become something much deeper and meaningful to me.

The 2-room gallery at Simpson has afforded me an opportunity to change the work in an even different direction. In one room I have the “real” which consists of the photos I took of the living and the dead I encountered at the shelter… in the other room is the “imagined” which relates to how my imagination has removed the animals from their bars. In some of the work in the “imagined” I have included an image I found of my Mom that I found after her death – she is a young dancer…. And this carries great importance because prior to her death she could not walk anymore- she too had fallen into a cage like the animals I met. While she was dying she talked about seeing past pets who my family had loved, but had lost to death– so I believe she is there with all them…

The work you see is not the end of my project- it is really just the start.

Show

2009-08-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

OK so the first show featuring the work from project fifty-two is about to happen.

The show is at Farnham Galleries at Simpson College in Indianola, IA.

It runs 2 weeks - opening the doors on Sept. 1 with the opening reception/gallery talk on Thursday September 3 at 5 pm.

Currently I am quickly getting everything in frames etc. since I got behind after surgery for the cancer.. but I will be ready!!!! The show will consist of photos and digital work- drawings and mixed media... I will post the actual card when I get it as well as pics from the show!!

hard

2009-08-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

Man, things have been so much harder than I thought.. I was sure when I had surgery for my breast cancer that I would be up and about right after - wrong! Instead I have been knocked on my butt more than I have ever been- and I haven't even started chemo. But the show must go on! In the midst of my recovery I was able to get the frames.. I have been out twice for non medical related reasons and both times I got things I need for this work. I have been too out of it to do much work so I am altering the show some.. more framed photos and digital than I had thought... not a huge deal... I am currently trying to reduce my pain meds so I can get back to work on this full force because the clock is ticking.. I hope to have everything framed this weekend so I can spend the final days before hanging trying to finish up whatever else I can. Wish me luck!

well carp!

2009-07-12T14:55:00.000-07:00

Sooo my life has really been a battle while I have been working on this.. I haven't updated this for some time because of that. Since last updating, I have lost my Grandfather and I had found out that I have cancer. Making art about life and death is hard, but dealing with it on a regular basis is even harder. I am going to get through the stupid cancer and I have surgery in about 2 weeks. I also have my first show with this work in a month and a half? so I will be hanging the show while I am going through the cancer treatments.

So I have something else to focus on other than the breast cancer that is trying to take me down- I can focus on this show- it is good to have a goal that does not involve medical anything at the moment. I will try and update more....

( I currently have put my etsy shops on vacation mode- but if you are interested in a print please let me know. )

2009-06-10T19:08:00.001-07:00

I am working on several mixed media pieces that are taking years to make because I am building up layers and layers... and there were some dead trees in the yard that my Mom and I had planted - well, they were taken down and the genius tree taker downer cut me several pieces that are being sanded and will be used in the work.. plus I just finished a drawing that I need to go back and smudge a bit.. but anyway, I am working!!! ( I also sold a few things on Zazzle which is cool.. but I can't remember my password to get in so I can get the teensy money I made and send some to the shelter... but when I do I will be so excited to have helped in a tiny bit) ok... off to work........and soon I should get more pics on here.. my camera is somewhere and the computer is still not working right.. but I will get some more images on here no matter what!

working

2009-05-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

I finally got some plywood and am working on some mixed media pieces.... just taking a break while things dry.... I am using the photos I took and mixing them with some old photos ... I won't explain much more till I have some images to put on here.. funny how things work.. while readying images for the mixed media pieces I had an idea for an installation piece and am excited to get that going as well... although none of it will happen if I can't get the flippin saw to work - I received a miter saw as a gift, but it is stuck in the down position and locked.. it says to unlock it to use it, but I can't figure out how! ugh.

I found homes for a couple of the digital prints so that makes me happy.. it was so interesting in that one of the buyers actually adopted a similar dog to the one in the image- and that dog came from TN... it was pretty cool hearing from someone who had adopted.. love to hear the stories and see pics.

OK.. back to work.. I am cleaning the kitchen/bathroom/living room and doing laundry and making art all at the same time.. I just work things in between drying times.. very productive!

(the above image is one that I am using in the mixed media work I am doing now....)

slloowwww again

2009-04-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

I am way behind as usual, but much more than usual. First, my computer has a million viruses and I have not been able to use it much for awhile now.. and that stinks. Second I am now dealing with another terminally ill family member. So, when I can I work on this - but lately I am just in a rut. The one bright thing was I sold my first digital piece! I was very excited - it was ironic since I had actually logged on to my etsy shop that day to out a hold on the shop since so much was preventing me from being able to check it lately.... and there it was.. my first sale .. I was so happy! I hope to have more work on here soon.. but things are sporadic with the lack of a trustworthy computer and my extra time I spend at hospice. So... hopefully in the not too distant future I will have a more positive post..

oh,, and I am planning on going back to the shelter in about 6 months.. it seems so long, but I can't wait!

buddies

2009-03-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

Many times at the shelter, groups of dogs or cats would be brought in - sometimes in pairs. The above image is a pair of dogs that came in and never found a home. I remember them since they were strong dogs and they did not like being cooped up together.. I wondered if they had been allowed to run free until they ended up in the kennel. I made this piece a little darker than some... I just started removing the bars and was interested in how light they were aginst everything else.. anyway that inspired this piece to have a little stronger contrast than some of the others. Some, like this one, I think it is necessary to leave indications of the bars..

working working working working

2009-02-23T17:47:00.000-08:00

I come home every night from my cubicle job and have been working on the digital works. I am broke so I decided to finally put some images in my online shop. Check it out. .. I need to raise funds so I can buy more paper and get frames for the show etc. etc. I am doing these in editions of 52 and keeping the 1st and last in the edition for the show.

The above image is part of this weekends work. It was always amazing to me how many hounds I saw at the shelter. One day I would like to adopt one....

2009-02-21T06:39:00.000-08:00

I worked on this one last night.. I am redoing the photos.. removing the solid backgrounds that I had and working with the color and existing image.. you can see some of the cage fencing still in this image.. I am removing it, yet in some I will let it exist somewhat. In the ones where the dog or cat is standing up against the cage, when I remove the fencing, they seem sometimes like they are just standing up or awkwardly floating.
Maybe I mentioned that I was reworking all of the photos before? (maybe I should read my own blog- ha ha). I haven't been on the drawings as much lately. My intention at this point is to have a variety of media in the show - but they all carry related images with the subject matter.
I have stepped back into the cubicle life. I need some sort of steady income and my artwork is just not supporting me at all. So, I work all day and hit the art when I get home. I am tired. But, a lot of us have a day job.... I wish though it was something cool like dolphin training or professional macaroni taster.

tonight

2009-02-19T20:08:00.000-08:00

I have been working on this one tonight..I am tired now though, so I am stopping...it's not done...

2009-02-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

So before I had been removing the animals from their cages and using a solid background. I have been working in softening up the backgrounds and altering the image some. It started when I was going back into some images and seeing animals with sores and I started to remove them.. then I kept going and I was seeing that the altering of the original image beyond just background removal was bringing something new to the photos..

In the one gallery (the real) I plan on having 52 images - but I am going to have some large drawings, some altered photos, some mixed media.. I do not want the viewer to be lost in a mass of sameness. I think to have everything the same medium, size. color, etc. is too much like the consistent loss of the animals.. after a short while, no matter how hard I tried, I did forget some due to the large numbers arriving on the shelter- I want very much for each animal not to become, once again, just one of many.. by altering the sizes and colors etc. of the work - it allows them to have their identity again.

today's work...

2009-02-01T14:31:00.000-08:00

I had been working with this imge for some time now, but I could never get it right.. well today I tried again.. and I am liking it....

January

2009-01-24T18:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated here for some time.. my Mom passed away on December 24th and I have just been spinning from that so I have not gotten anything done. I did start cleaning and organizing my studio so I can get back to work... with everything going on - things got out of control in there and I haven't been able to focus with the mess!

I have been thinking about this project a lot and about this blog. When I began the blog as a part of the work, I thought it would be interesting to document the process and the hurdles I would come across during it. I have always been interested in how an artist got to the point when they painted their works . It has always interested me in how the time a person lives in affects their work as well as their relationships, their living conditions, economic status, etc. When I began this blog, I wasn't thinking about all of those things - I was thinking about solely how the project would go - but I am realizing that so many of those things have really affected the project. It's as if each drawing and painting I do has a million little invisible strings attached to it.. strings that carry the issues in my life that affect that work of art even though I would not have ever thought they had an influence. So, this blog is making me take all of this in and understand more in depth for myself those seemingly invisible influences that, in fact, have as much influence in this work as the actual animals at the shelter have.

One thing I also wanted to document, was how things change.. how art to me is a very organic process and with shifts in the environment the work adapts and changes. One major change recently is an opportunity and a loss I have come across.

First the opportunity - next September, I have my first and so far only, show with this work. It will be at a college gallery and the gallery actually is two rooms.. two rooms separated by a hallway. So, I had some thinking to do about how the work will appear placed in two rooms - this provides me with an opportunity - what if within the work - there were too different directions?

And now the loss - as I sat at the bedside of my dying Mom for over two months, I became a spectator to the dying process. Now, this process was new to me in that I have seen death before. Only when this project began had I encountered it. Prior to coming to the shelter, I came across a dog who had been hit on the road- that dog looked at me with glassy eyes wagged its tail and died. A short time later, I had the unfortunate experience of seeing a terrible car accident and saw a man dying as he was pinned against a tree.. it was a violent and terrible thing. And then, of course, I have seen the euthanasia. The euthanized animals had fear in their eyes and I could have sworn they "knew" - they knew. But, their deaths were quick and peaceful.

My Mom's death was different - it took time. I witnessed her for so many weeks talking to others in the room that I could not see. Some people might say there were ghosts or angels.. I don't know,, but many things led me to believe they were real. She talked about things before they happened - one day she excitedly told "them" I had just sold a piece of art - I had not for some time - yet two days later I did. There were other things. She also talked about seeing the pets of the past.. Toby my childhood dog was one she "saw"one day and was very excited. She talked about a beautiful place and said it was warm all the time there - she even asked "them" one day if I could come along. And then one day she turned to me out of the blue and said "Tinkerbell died of old age". Tinkerbell was a cat I loved as a child who was taken from me and taken to the pound by my parents... I had always wondered about her... it was upsetting to me.. but I never really talked to my Mom about it - so it was astonishing that on her deathbed my Mom told me that. She told me she lived with her new family until she died of old age. So, it got me thinking.. according to my Mom - the animals could be seen after death- where did they go?

So I have decided that in one gallery I will have the "real" the images - drawings, paintings, photos of the animals I have met and who have gone. In the second gallery will be the "imagined" - the images of them in what might be their next stop. According to my Mom the next stop is a beautiful place - it is warm - there is swimming :) - and no one seems to be alone.. so I would like to include this as part of the project. I have a lot of work to do.

hospice

2008-12-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

I am still spending my time with my Mom.. each day she gets weaker and I just don't think I can make work for the time I am here with her - I tried. I told her about the show I have coming up this fall and she was happy... I told her the name of it and how I wanted to use her image in some new paintings that I will be using with this project.. she liked that. My Mom has a little black pug named Maggie.. I bring her to hospice a lot... Maggie sits on the bed with Mom and just lays quietly there with her. Maggie's little tail fell this week when I brough her in and she was quieter and more still than she had been on previous visits. Maggie was rescued by my Mom who had wanted a pug forever - after Kai (our wolf dog) had died they adopted Maggie - they had found her through family who had contacted shelters and a local shelter in Des Moines (the Animal Lifeline) had directed them to a family who had Maggie, but could no longer keep her. Maggie was lucky.... she has been loved and has spent countless hours by my Mom's side.. Maggie will miss her human Mom very much.

difficult

2008-11-17T15:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't picked up a pencil or a brush in what seems like an eternity... My Mom has been so sick and is now in hospice. It is so hard. I can't make anything right now - all I can do is sit by her side and talk to her. I never experienced what death was like until I worked on this project.. I will work again on this, right now things are just too difficult...

in progress....and the Jillian story.

2008-10-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

Here is one of the drawings I am working on - in fact, I was working on it tonight and I remembered that I hadn't added any of this work to the blog .. I am working from a photo I had taken of one of the dogs .. I remember this guy, he was older and lanky and was so friendly - I would have taken him home if I could... I really liked him. But, my house was overflowing with dogs .. the one on the top picture is Jillian Jones Appalachian Highway Dog.... I picked her up one day while I was on my way to do the laundry.. someone had just dumped her along the highway and I saw her chasing their red pickup down the highway. I caught up to her and jumped out - by that time her former owner had sped away and she was weaving across the road bewildered. I jumped in front of an SUV and called to her - luckily she came to me - kinda lurking to me, crawling across the pavement. I snatched her up and put her in my car ... she was lucky. She was thin when I found her and had a large gash on her side.. it was evident she had previously worn a tight collar that had just been removed - her hair was matted down around her neck. At the time, I didn't want a dog - and especially could not afford her plus I was in a one room cabin with 2 dogs and a cat already.. but I just couldn't let her go. She was so much more lucky than the dog I was drawing tonight....

MAry

dreams

2008-09-29T04:03:00.000-07:00

I have been sick and haven't worked on anything for a bit. I have been so tired and unable to sleep for a full night - and when I do sleep I have really odd dreams. I just woke up from one,,, I dreamt that I was at a show and all of the work kinda stunk - but there was an element that ran through the work.. over and over again I saw it.. the idea of disposable.. made me think of this project.. I have been focused lately on the drawings and I have been neglecting the element of the disposable nature that society has somehow put upon the animals.. I know exactly what to do with it now - thanx to the dream. I haven't mentioned it in here enough, but I have thrown out so many ideas/works - .. but am focused now.. even have a place to show it ..(wont be for a long few months).

Oh guess I am rambling, am so tired, but I just woke up thinking about the dream and past experimentation I had done in the studio and I had to just write it down. I was also thinking about how in the middle of the night sometimes the memory of one of the dogs or cats pops in my head and how I feel a bit haunted by them - but not in a bad way. Like I said I haven't been working for a bit - sick and uninsured.fun..... I want to get back to the drawings.. I think about the stack of then, but part of my sick is my eyes are screwed up so until it clears can't work.. ugh. But now I know as part of the disposable part, I have to get a lot of fast food. yup. fast food.

I know this might not make any sense yet, but like I said,, I am sick and tired and just had the weirdest dream.. good things come in dreams - ideas - signs I guess.. so I thought since I neglect the blog I would go ahead and type this before I was fully awake.

just a note..

2008-09-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

if you have found this via my profile .. just want to let you know this project is real and not part of the "fake" blog works I am doing :) This is a serious project, and because it has been difficult has helped lead me to the fake identities I am creating work under.. you can look under my profile for lundbergart to see a full description of what I am doing

ok, if you didn't get here via my profile and are wondering what in the world? please take a look at this blog and if you want to see how different my other work is please click on my profile.

confusing enough?

oh, and i have not drawn yet today since I have hurt my neck/back (pinched nerve?) and can hardly move so am not doing anything. But I spent time thinking and wondering.. should patterning be involved in the drawings? I wonder......

27

2008-09-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

oh man, so I projected 27 images today.. I would have done more, but i ran out of paper. I am projecting the photos I have taken - enlarging them and am doing a basic outline of each animal. I will be going back in and working the image.. right now i am working on reeves bfk.. i would prefer bristol, but with the size I want reeves is more accessible to me.. plus as I was working today.. it was growing on me.. feels much more organic than the bristol does. I have no images to add today since i was an idiot and forgot to take the camera.. but i will try and get some on tomorrow. (I really do wish I had the camera since the projector was the oldest coolest thing i had seen.. )
I found when i was going through photos that there were many images with 'groups' of animals so i decided that I would do those images as the group as opposed the individual. I am leaving a lot of negative space and am still wondering if that space will be as it is or will I add color? Hmmmm.. I am moving away (at least at this time) from the symbolism i began with.. when i was working with the images using gimp, I found the absence of the environment had a real appeal to me...so for now that is where i am ... i am too tired to draw anymore tonight.. i hope to get tons done tomorrow and get some images on here...
I have to say it was weird seeing the faces of the dogs and cats projected on the wall and knowing they are gone.. it made me sad, but also determined.

questions and projections

2008-09-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

oh man, it has been a rough few months and this project has really taken a hit. I have found out that I will have the use of a projector this Wednesday to enlarge the photos and transfer to paper/canvas.. am very excited, since I really - really need this! I will take photos of the process and get some images of the work on asap.

One thing I have been following in the news is that the VP pick for the Republican party promoted the shooting of wolves from helicopters/airplanes.. and offered a bounty of$150 for the leg of a killed wolf. I am so upset by this news..... what a cowardly thing to do. I am not against hunting - however, I am against the sensless slaughter of living creatures... this is just that. My family once had a wolf hybrid as a pet. His name was Kai and was the most gentle intelligent creature I have ever met in my life. Kai loved cats and on many occasions stole kittens from our cat's litters - we would find him curled up with the little kittens - mothering them. When I heard about Palin and her stance on this in the news I was beyond disgusted. I can't comprehend how someone would think that is right.

sooo I saw on the ABC news site they were asking for questions for Palin so I posed these..

1. Why does she think it is okay to shoot wolves from helicopters/planes and mutilate their bodies for a bounty?
2. What role does she feel the government should take in supporting artists working in the United States? Does she support an increase for the NEA (for assisting living artist's work)?

I am also interested in all of the candidates views on support of artists in this country.. from what I have seen - McCain is not too keen on it and has not given a solid answer when asked. Obama has not gone into great detail as well, but I have read he wants health care for us. Anyway, I won't spend too much time on this - but the election does affect what I do.

ooo

2008-06-12T21:06:00.001-07:00

I have not posted for a bit.. and won't for a little longer since I am having to deal with some flooding in my home. It is not feet, but inches so I consider myself lucky.. so many people in the region are losing everything. Everyime it rains it happens all over and I haven't slept well for over a week because of it. I hope to get back on track soon,,, but my studio is displaced at the moment and I put all my energies into cleaning up the mess and fixing things so it will not happen again.....
I do want to thank the inventor of the shopvac - without that most wonderful device I would be totally screwed. :)

wax buttons

2008-05-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

I finally got some wax. I sold a button - thank you. I found my missing camera. But I haven't been back to the shelter for some time now.. and I wish I could be there..

oh and I took my own dog Jillian Jones Appalachian Highway Dog in to get spayed - I miss my little wirey monster and wish I could explain to her why I did it. If you don't hve your pets fixed.. get them done asap.. I miss her though and I have not been away from her for a night since picking her up off of the highway.... crazy how much I miss that little dog trying to climb on my laptop...ok am babbling.. off to bed...

buttons

2008-05-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

make custom gifts at Zazzle
buttons.. help support project fifty-two!! Click on the button above! I don't make much off of these,,, so get many and give them to your friends and family!! Oh, and did I mention 1/2 of all proceeds go to the Newport animal shelter? Ha the other 1/2 goes back into the project..... I hope get more products added soon.. plus I am working on some just for the shelter to sell at their own gift shop....

in progress..

2008-04-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't fully decided on colors as of yet... but I will be doing several series for this project .. and in this one I am removing them from their enviornment.....

art? suffering?

2008-04-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

I just ran across this myspace page regarding an artist who took a dog and tied it in a gallery with no food and water. It died. This was considered art. I had read about this before, but upon finding this page- I need to take a moment from my project to pass it on. This must never happen again.

http://www.myspace.com/notart08

It is not art to cause the suffering - it is art to do something about it.
MAry

removal

2008-04-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

I found I can remove them from the environment with my art.. I can set them free.. I'll explain later.. when I have more done.. the project is taking a digital turn.

Oprah

2008-04-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

So I was so glad to see that Oprah did a show on puppy mills and the overpopulation of dogs. It was wonderful to see such a well known public person use her show to educate people on where many puppies come from and the how horrible the conditions are. The fact that she showed the dogs that were euthanized in the shelter was wonderful. This project I am working on is so hard, and it was good to see press on the subject.
Watching the show today made me think to the euthanasia that I witnessed. I hated it so much - I loved all of the dogs and puppies put down that day. They knew when they went in the room - they knew. I really wanted to scream and steal them away, but I just held my emotions in because I was there to do a job - to document, to see, to learn and to understand. I held it all in that day until I got home and then cancelled my plans and climbed in bed. I didn't like seeing it. However, I need to see it again - I have more work to do.
I am having such a hard time with not being able to go the shelter. I think about it everyday and love to get updates on the goings on there - but I miss to be able to meet the animals - to touch them and talk to them. The art means so much more to me when I can know the subject. I know I will get back there, but I wish I knew when.
Ok it is late, and this stuff was just running through my head,,, so thought I'd throw it on here...the pictures above are some I took... I was just thinking of their faces.....i don't even know what happened to them all - I have so many pictures and I look at so many - and I just don't know...

light

2008-03-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

... I was just working on some photos from the shelter and I was thinking a lot about the light there. In the kennels in certain times the light really poured into the outdoor kennels and made the most interesting shapes when it hit the kennel wiring. Anyway, I am just obsessing about the light at the moment...

moved

2008-02-29T14:04:00.000-08:00

oh man. So life can really take some wild turns and mine has had some pretty sharp ones lately. I have moved to Iowa - my Mom needs me to be here for her. But the project continues - well, it will when I can get my studio up an working again. Things are in such disarray right now,, but I have tons of pictures to work from and I will be traveling back there as soon as I am able. (anyone want to donate to the help Mary travel to Newport fund?) I am seriously thinking of starting a shop on etsy to help pay for that... I will NOT let this project stop!

I feel so bad for not having posted for so long - the move has taken a lot out of me. As soon as I get some more work to post I will - in fact, I was just unpacking some small boards that I will be using. (I bought them in Knoxville instead of paying my utilities a couple of months back) I have the new work in my mind - it is simply a matter of getting the studio working and sitting down and doing it....

Life

2008-01-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

Life can be very tough sometimes - as this project has shown. My personal life has been making things so difficult for me to work on this lately. I have missed going to the shelter for the last 2 weeks because I just couldn't afford the gas. Finances are tough and the shelter is an hour away. I will miss more time now, due to my mother having a stroke. Things are just so hard right now.

In the time I have been away I have been swimming through the piles of images that I have taken while there. The sad part is that I could very easily create the 52 main images now. It amazes me how many animals have gone in such a short time - I only began in the Fall. I have realized that what I thought would be a very linear project, has become not so. It is hard to decide which dog or cat I will use. I hate the fact that those that I don't include may never be remembered - I hate that.

I am working on ideas of how to use the photos. Will they be printed - collaged - transfered onto material? - I don't know yet. I have so much work to do and life being so hard is making it more difficult than I could ever imagine. I have been working on some positive images of animals to donate to the shelter - I hope someone can donate money to have them printed and framed - the employees have been working so hard on making that place look better and I would be honored to have my work hang in their halls.

The above image is a more positive one - it is one of the dogs interacting with the reporter Anthony Welsch from WBIR when he did my interview in Knoxville. It is one of my favorite images so far. I just wanted to put something nice on here today.

2008-01-13T13:22:00.001-08:00

Every week animals are euthanized at the animal shelter that I have been working with. Every year millions (not hundreds or thousands - millions) are killed each year in our country. It is so big it is hard to wrap the mind around - to really understand and grasp how this is happening. I don't really understand how something this huge keeps going on - I just don't.

I have been guilty of allowing my animals to reproduce in the past - I am now more upset with myself than ever. Especially after seeing 9 puppies put to sleep on Friday. I have been wrong. But I know better now - and my only hope is through my work to help other people know how wrong it is - to help them see the results of the irresponisibilty that exists.

It is easy to understand the suffering of the animals - but have you ever thought about those that must do the euthanasia? Has anyone ever thought about how by leaving an animal at the shelter affects those who work there? I bet most don't. The people who work there truly care about the animals. At the Newport shelter there are very dedicated and hard working individuals - and not unlike us they have the same emotions. Unlike those of us who are not in their position - their emotions are played with on a daily basis due to the "throw away" society that we live in. It may be out of sight and out of mind for those abandoning their animals - but for the shelter workers they are not afforded that luxury.

I went in fully expecting to feel grief over the animals that died, and I fully expected to see the terror and pain in the eyes of the animals as they met their fate. What I was not prepared for was to see the emotion from the workers involved. I wasn't prepared to see the pain of the animal control officer as he held back tears while gently holding the dogs as they were injected with the drugs. I wasn't expecting to see the tears from the director over her frustration and saddness over the act. If people don't care about the animals - I wish they could get a glimpse into what their actions do to the people. I wish they could see the care that the dogs and puppies received in their final moments - the soft touch, the words, the carefullness of placing their bodies in the bags. These people care so much and it hurt more than anything to see such good people forced to do this because of an irresponsible society.

Death for the castaway animals is not the solution - it is simply something that must be done due to the overwhelming numbers. On Friday I saw a dog waiting in the back of the animal control truck - waiting for a space - a space provided by the euthanized animals. They arrive all the time. The solution is to be responsible. To fix your pets. To adopt from shelter. To be better role models for the next generation. I saw 12 die on Friday - 12 is a small number in the scheme of things - but I am still in shock. I mourn for them.

I left the shelter searching for answers in my head. I left wondering about religion - did not God create these creatures - I am embarrassed for us all. But maybe there is no God. I am feeling so lost about this all and the only tool I have to stand up against it are my words and my art. That is the voice I have. I feel more strongly about what I am doing with the shelter now.

2008-01-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

This is what I saw today - I'll talk about it later after my thoughts can be put into some sort of meaningful sense...

New Years Eve

2007-12-31T13:02:00.001-08:00

so went to the shelter to take the pics ....
Seems like the theme this week is sick and injured,,,,,In the isolation room there are several ill cats and it is heartbreaking to see their crusty eyes and watch them lay quiet in the corner of their cage. One cat has a rather large tumor on its toe. I was horrified when I saw it - it looks so painful. I have no idea why the cat ended up there, but I hope that it gets a home and some help.

Prior to going I was contacted by the shelter director to see about a no kill I volunteered at in IA. A paralyzed beagle is at the shelter and needs a good place to be sent. Apparently, someone is donating a wheelchair for him - so that is good news. However, the Animal Lifeline is packed full and have no room for him...hopefully something will open up. hopefully.

In the cage above the paralyzed beagle, is a small min pin with mange and man he looks terrible. Two small dachshunds are in the main kennel and both are blind or at least partially. The sad thing is they didn't even seem to know where they where - just as happy as ever...maybe that is good thing though. I never know anymore.

overall, there were a lot of new faces and I was unable to find out about a large houndish shepardish dog that I secretly had fallen in love with....I hope his empty cage meant he had a home and had not been put in the freezer. I was feeling pretty sad about the possibility there of him not making it and that he could be this weeks image.....

I decided to bath the paralyzed beagle and he used me as a porta potty as I held him in his towel afterwards. I have never smelled so bad in my life..thank god for a store named Catos (I hope I spelled right), a very nice employee there, a great sale, and free perfume samples - otherwise I would not have been able to stand it - yuck

But good things do happen - a sad looking Rottweiler had been adopted and the new owners brought her in today. When I saw her she was a big bony pile and didn't respond to me at all. Sometimes she would look up a little, but had seemed resigned to her fate - but to see her today made was wonderful. Her new people were so happy with her and said she even slept in their bed....I was too excited to see her and how happy she was, that I forgot to ask her people's names - whoops...but I did get a pic of them and that is the happy pic you see here...

happy sight!

Christmas

2007-12-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

So I went to the shelter this morning. There were actually a few people there and things got done quickly. In fact, the main shelter got done so quickly they locked up before I got my pics inside for this week.

I gave all of the outside dogs a treat and a bone - ooo they loved that! One small black shep/lab mixed pup was so excited it ran around like it had just been given the finest toy it had ever seen - was fun to watch. I am sorry I missed the inside dogs.

There is parvo again - I gave fluids to a small puppy this morning..poor thing - I just got a call that it is not doing well at all...shit.

My camera seems to be on its way out. Since I started the project my batteries have drained when ever I went to the shelter and then acted fine after - weird. A few weeks ago my settings started acting funny there too - the shutter stays open too long - anyway, it is doing it all the time now. I am not happy. I hope to get a new camera soon- until then, wont be able to post much :( Maybe a miracle will happen and I'll wake up one morning and see a digital camera sitting in my porch - you never know this morning it happened with chocolate....

I haven't finished any new art yet - have been too depressed - recent loss off grandmother and holidays has made me sluggish...I did however realize I have many large pieces of watercolor paper = perhaps my art will be taking a different turn - perhaps the ruined work will be a good thing...

holidays

2007-12-23T11:27:00.000-08:00

I am so cold..never seem to be able to get warm in this little shack I live in. I need to be drawing. I usually go to the shelter on the weekend, but decided instead to go on Christmas. I am sure they could use the help, plus I want to give the animals a special treat (now I have to remember to buy a really big bag of treats).

I really want these works to be painted. I am so frustrated right now - I can't afford canvas. I don't even really have a studio - I have one room I sleep in, watch t.v. in, use computer in and make art in. It is bigger than the little cabin in the woods, but I hope someday to have a studio- a real studio. While I am dreaming a real house would be nice - with a real bedroom. oh well.

This project makes me so down sometimes, but I know the rolling rescue just made some trips to NY and FL and dogs were saved because of it. I truly don't know how I could do this if the rolling rescue was not there. Yesterday someone asked me why dogs are better of in the places they are sent. I guess people are more responsible - more educated. Plus what is sent are the cutest puppies and smaller dogs - with a few larger thrown in now and then. But even those shelters wont take them all - no hounds, no brindled, etc. etc. this project is really REALLY opening my eyes to how our society makes so many decisions based upon how visually appealing things are. It just breaks me up how the most supremely gentle and wonderful dogs and cats are passed over simply because they look the wrong way. It breaks me up that people will buy puppies from malls and parking lots and spend hundreds of dollars when they could have gone to a shelter and spent less and saved a life.

My little Nigel Longbottom is sitting at my feet right now - my little chihuahua(ish) I adopted from the rolling rescue. He stares at me with his large bulbous eyes while his jacked up under bite makes him look like he could attack at any minute. When I helped care for him at the shelter, he looked so pathetic to me - but since I have brought him home, his tail rarely stops wagging. He is ugly to most, but beautiful to me. I wish I could take them all home....I'll post more pics after Christmas...

wet art

2007-12-18T19:12:00.000-08:00

I decided to post this before I freak out totally. I had an incident with my drawings and they were exposed to liquid - all of them. I am going to have to start over. I am posting the finished work .... but I will be redoing. It will be ok (I have been telling myself in my head over and over again) o.k. I will do them again and I will do them better. I am not going to dwell on this. I am not going to lose it. I am going to simply pick up my pencil and start again. I will do them bigger and better - things happen for a reason. o.k. I need more paper.....

The pink collar

2007-12-15T12:19:00.000-08:00

I wanted so badly for the dog with the pink collar to find a home. So badly. But she didn't and unfortunaely will be the subject of one of my pieces...all week long she had been in my mind - i was hoping it as one those cases in which I am wrong. There were so many new little faces and I really started to feel so overwhelmed there today as I stopped at each kennel and talked to the dogs. So many little faces peering through the chain link gates. I just want you to see just a small number of them...these are pics I just took about an hour ago. You'll notice the one beagle looks big - I wouldn't be surprised to find out that she has puppies tommorrow.

Night

2007-12-08T18:14:00.001-08:00

I kind of like being at the shelter at night. There are times when the dogs get quiet and you can hear them stirring softly in their kennels trying to get comfortable. Things are a little more peaceful. Tonight I was at the shelter.

I decided to run by to take my pics, but then I realized that only one person was signed up to volunteer in the Rolling Rescue - Cynthia. So I decided to scoop some poop, walk some dogs and do what I could to help out. Nothing like good, hard work on a Saturday night. Before taking the job in Knoxville I was there every Saturday (certainly not something that helps the social life I can assure you).

Anyway, I was happy to see some of the dogs I was worried about over in the Rolling rescue building...yes only last week I was worried they would be gone soon - and tonight I got to hold them and play with them. They will be going to shelters in New York, Florida, or Wisconsin. Bideawee has been working with the rolling rescue and I think they are going to be taking over 20 next trip!! yes. (check out their link under the shelters heading - the second start program has pics of dogs rescued from here - look at Buster! I helped save him from parvo by giving him fluids and med - he was so sick and he looks so good now!)

However, I was never so disappointed to hear that with all of the news coverage recently that there were still many animals euthanized. I had hoped generous people from the area after hearing the stories on the news, reading it in the papers, and listening to it on the radio would be lined up to adopt and give. Not so much...I was told the kennels were so full they had dogs waiting in the van with no place to be put. People did call- but not many showed up - Cynthia did tell me a man from Knoxville came out and adopted. I am grateful for that man. Thank you. But, mostly people called and never showed up. The place is packed. I heard more euthanizing will take place Monday morning.

My heart ached as I walked the kennels tonight, knowing that so many lives were so limited. Like the old hound with the pink collar- I told her I was sorry and that I wanted her to be free. It sucks. I want to take them all home - that wouldn't solve the problem. I gave each one a treat and I talked to them as I always do. (Even the biters). I gave the old hound 10. I gave the rottweiler that sat when I waved a treat in front of her 3. I gave the mixed brindle who whined 2. That could be the last they will ever get. I can't tell you how sad that makes me.

- On a brighter note - I did get the laptop (thanks david!!) and this is the first time I could do the blog right after the shelter vist. I am now sitting at Perkins sipping coffe and listening to Christmans music. Anyone want to give me a Christmas gift? Adopt and give to your local shelter.
I am so tired now - the drive to the shelter is an hour each way and this wifi stop is only 30 min. into it....I don't know if I'll get much drawing done tonight..am so tired and I bet my own dogs (each a rescue I might add) are waiting anxiously for me to return and give them each my undivided attention......

MAry

2007-12-03T15:20:00.000-08:00

Okay so it has been a crazy couple of weeks...due to my job, I had to move to the great city of Knoxville - does that make me a Knoxvillian now? Anyway, I did that over Thanksgiving and it got me a bit behind on the project. There has been some good press on it however over the last couple of weeks though...check out my story on the local NBC station at

http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=51912

(sorry you'll have to copy and paste - I am having troubles linking today)

I was also in the Newport paper - but have been unable to find a link online. That story was focused on the voting from the city council on the project - I wasn't even able to be there due to my job so I was lucky to have the director speak in my behalf. (Thanks Dr. Hood!) I didn't hear it, but my radio interview also played recently. oh man.

The hardest interview was the t.v. though since only that morning my Grandma passed away - so hard to talk about this subject anyway- and to have the loss of someone important in my life made it more difficult. She would have been excited to see me on there - I wish she could have.

I have been looking online at publishers since I need to have the images and story published in conjunction with my showings (that have yet to be placed). So much to do- so much to do. A year seemed like a long time- but things are already happening at such a quick pace! Before long the 52 weeks will have passed.

I haven't even looked at my pics for this week. I have a elderly hound dog in my mind- she has been there too long- each time I see her she responds less and less. This last time was with the reporter and she didn't even get up. She may be my newest subject - I hate it. She wears a pink collar - someone cared about her - I hope someone comes and saves her- I hope I am wrong....

Fortress and a model

2007-11-28T15:56:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking about the animals that hide. Last week I took several images of cats hiding under papers, blankets, and behind litter boxes. I decided to start a drawing of one of the dogs that I couldn't get to touch and talk to because it was growling and hiding. When I went to the kennel it went inside and looked out the door and growled- it was scared. I decided to do this particular drawing of the dog looking out of a castle-like wall (I am creating a fortress for it to hide in). it is about midway done - I'll post pics when it is finished. I have several pieces going - those of you who know how I work - know this is not unusual....at the end of the 52 days it'll all be solid.
I also have been thinking about the volunteers and the good things that happen...I asked Cynthia (the woman who runs the rolling rescue program) if she would model for me on Friday. She said yes...am so excited to start this piece - it'll be the first on the volunteers at the shelter and what they accomplish.
I am getting a laptop in about a week- so things should get done more on here - more images.....
MAry
p.s. I have a t.v. interview with a local station this Friday..........
p.p.s. people keep asking me about the "book" that I am doing. I have decided why not? I'll be making a book to go with this - know any publishers?

going public...

2007-11-27T15:37:00.000-08:00

Hey I got my first interview for this project - I am pretty excited! check it out at....

http://www.citizentribune.com/news/view_sections.asp?idcategory=9&idarticle=7743

NPR and Oprah here I come....

2007-11-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

It is so sad how many mom dogs and puppies end up here. Look at how her bones stick out, poor thing. I am about to get over to the shelter.....

2007-10-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

I just left the shelter. I took pictures of a biting dog, a mother with her pups and a sick kitten along with a few others. I also decided I should take short 52 second videos of the animals. So I did a few today - I have to get the camera home to see them, but if they are good at all I will post.
A group of about 15 dogs went to Florida this last week- and I was happy to see empty cages when I got to the Rolling Rescue building ..more room to save them from the main shelter - yeah.
It is pretty rough seeing the same faces each week.. knowing that their time is running out. Did I ever mention that the euthanasia rate is like 80%! I am not sure if that is taking into account those lucky few that get sent on the rolling rescue or not. I do worry about the Rolling Rescue program...never enough people to help them out and money - er money.
The people who volunteer are so awesome though. There is a couple that I see there on a regular basis - they take interest in dogs at the main shelter and take them out to festivals and feed them good food and walk them. I don't know how many dogs have been saved just from the effort they make. There are actually many people like that. I think that this is just as an important part as anything and will need to include this somehow in the project.
Anyway, time is short (especially on a library computer) so I gotta get going. Tonight is going to be all about making ACEOs.
MAry

2007-10-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

oh man, it has been forever since I have been able to update this blog....got a new job and with an hour and a half plus drive both ways leaves little time....
Heard some cool news from one of the Northern shelters taking dogs from here - Bidawee..they were on Fox and Friends with two of our puppies we sent..yea. I also found that one of the dogs - Kera ended up in a place across from Central Park.
I am still taking my pics each week and am making changes in the "art" part of it...A little too tired now to go into it....
The above pics are a couple of the babies in the Rolling Rescue part and will hopefully be in homes soon.

unfinished work..

2007-09-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

This is the drawing for week one- unfinished...due to the cost of canvas/paint and storage issues coupled with no studio (I work out of a one room cabin and paint while sitting on my bed due to lack of chair) I have decided it would be best to draw the images. There is something about the lack of color that I feel works with this project ..... I have also decided symbols are going to be important as well...

The last post was a bit negative- but this week I stopped by the shelter for a couple of hours and saw 2 dogs being taken to rescues in Knoxville and NH, a large orange cat named Big Shug adopted, a young cattle dog adopted and a small Jack Russle-ish adopted. So good things do happen.

This photo is from Sunday's photos from the large group of dogs turned in at once...last I knew they were still alive.....

2007-09-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

So Sunday is the day. The day that I go around the shelter and take pics of potential soon to be euthanized animals. I choose four to five dogs or cats with the help of the staff. I talk to the ones I take pics of and take out of the pens if possible. Sunday I also work for the Rolling Rescue and am feeding cleaning etc. Sunday is pretty busy.
Yesterday I took my pics and I am so frustrated. Frustrated because there are so many. So many people keep bringing animals in....and not enough are taking them out. I try not to get attached to any of the faces that I see but it is hard. One dog - Teddy - is waiting for a home. I worry about him. He is such a good dog and I was told his owner had died. (I would die all over again if I ever knew my pets were in a shelter after I died.)
But what frustrated me the most this Sunday was that there were two pens with about five dogs in each (normally they each get their own) - the thing is that someone just decided they had too many- couldn't afford? got tired of them? dunno. They all came from one house. One. So here sit this entire family of dogs (they look very related) and they are terrified and not socialized and I would be surprised if they weren't all put down. It sucks. They wont even get A chance since they are not socialized and some are growling- there is no room - there is no time to work with them. The place is - as they say- busting at the seams with animals. People keep bringing them and bringing them. In fact, when I worked Saturday someone had squeezed a large dog through an opening in the gate after hours...just left it there. cowards. At least have the decency to bring it in to give the staff any information on it so that it might have a better chance for adoption.
I know this is a bit rambly..well aren't they all I guess. I have an idea about an installation that I could do involving garbage bags - the kind used to put the bodies in after euthanasia. (it felt a little sick to type that)
Mary
p.s. Please feel free to comment...just click on comment...feeling a little lonely here......

Gone

2007-09-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I checked in with the shelter to see which of the cats I had taken pics of where euthanized. The torti was still there and I was so happy to see that. The rest of the five I took pics of where gone- plus others.
Later that day I witnessed an accident by my home- it was terrible. I saw a guy get killed- he was only 19. I am still shaken up. Because of this I am going to use the image of a cat put down that had been hit by a car. When I opened the cage to pet him he just layed there and purred. here is his picture...

I also want you to see the picture of the dog from week one.

Both of these animals where good animals..friendly and beautiful.
Mary

Cats

2007-09-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

So I went to the shelter yesterday to take this weeks photos. Cats. I decided I might do cats this week. There are tons. I made friends with a cat that was labeled mean (just scared I guess - the mean ones seem to like me for whatever reason) anyway beautiful torti. I don't know if it will be her picture. I hope she gets a chance. There were tiny kittens that because of their age might be put down. crap.
I ended up working at the rolling rescue building since only one person was there doing all the work - erp. I guess since it was a holiday people had plans..I don't mind- but am feeling a little sick achy and when I got home was exhausted.
Oh yeah we got to set up a booth at a new gas station in Cosby. If you find yourself in Cosby TN go get gas at the corner of Jones Cove and 321 - Billy's Station. They were so cool to let the shelter set up for their grand opening....I must buy large quantaties of gas from them - since I do use large quantities it shouldn't b e a problem.......
I have some work done..as soon as I get it saved to CD and drag it down to the library computer I'll put it on here..I have decided symbolism is important..I also am having several ideas for perfomance and installation etc. my mind is awash with ideas at the moment.......

Blocked

2007-09-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

I am having the hardest time with this project already. The first dog to go was the yellow lab with the bad eye. Poor guy. I have been sketching and sketching and I have this pressure over the work because of its importance. I do a drawing and I think - not good enough.
I was feeling so blocked. Strangely enough whenever I get stuck I take my sketchbook out to lunch or coffee - something about an enviornment filled with people who I am not connected with fuels my ideas. So I took the magic sketchbook to lunch and over a terribly overpriced salad and sweet tea (neither that I can truly afford) I was able to figure things out.
The problem I was/am having is how do I show the poor animal in its true self- yet keep my style as an artist. I know I can do it now. Poor guy....and to think week 2 is in the day after tomorrow.
When I am able to I am going to put some sketches on here....sorry it is hard since I don't have a laptop or email at home..thank god for public library computers. Anyone have a laptop they wanna send me? :)
Well off to the shelter..did I mention that I volunteer there and help clean, walk and give meds? Yes. great excercise, good for the soul, and a great place to meet people...yeah I'll be talking about the people there soon - there are some very inspiring people around here.......
MAry
p.s. I don't have anything listed yet, but I have just signed up with etsy - you can find me at Lundberg.etsy.com -- Thanks Jessica!!! As soon as I resize my images I'll be listing several!

just a little self advertising....

2007-08-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

so I can pay the bills...I have placed some work on ebay. I is my more inventive work- not like this project..... but check it out look under Lundberg surrealism and they should pop up.....

New York, golden labs and pits

2007-08-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

So I got back this weekend after delivering 40 dogs to two shelters in New York. I can't truly describe what it is like driving all night with forty dogs in the back of a cargo van. I was tired, they were scared and car sick, projectile vomiting occurred, mass howling existed....but i made it. The first group went to a rescue group called Homeward Bound http://www.homewardbounddogrescue.com/pets.php ..you can see the dogs through petfinder. They are a new group the shelter is working with - they do fostering out of people's homes and don't have an actual shelter.

The second and last stop was the SPCA http://www.geocities.com/spcauny/ ... now this place is a massive shelter...they showed me around and I don't know how many animals there were there- but tons. So if you are reading this and live anywhere near there -quick - get in your car and go get a dog. I was told that once they get there our dogs and puppies are adopted pretty quickly since we send small dogs and puppies. Being there and seeing the huge number of animals really makes the problem of pet overpopulation and owner incompetence seem so enormously overwhelming. I thought that the trip would make me feel all warm and tingly inside and instead it just made me realize even more how huge the issue is. Even though I was exhausted after being on the road 16 or so hours I couldn't sleep. The mass quantities of the animals at the shelter and the ones at our shelter kept me up. I am glad the SPCA won't kill them ever, but shit there are so many - and to think that this is just the tip of the ice burg as far as what exists out there. I hope to go again though. Maybe I'll have the chance.

Yesterday, I took photos of two dogs at our shelter who are probably being put down today or tomorrow. One was an elderly yellow lab whose owner brought it in because it wouldn't eat? (perhaps they haven't heard of a vet before?) Anyway, nicest dog..a volunteer helped me take him out of the kennel and that poor dog had been waiting to go to the bathroom forever (they don't get walked daily there) and both the volunteer and I have never seen a dog pee for so long in our lives..it may sound silly to talk about - but imagine how it would be to be holding it because you didn't want to go in you room where you sleep...that poor dog had been trained to not go inside probably by the same people who abandoned him at the shelter. nicest dog ever- he has a bad eye - blind and foggy looking.

The second dog I took pics of was a pit who had very obviously just had a litter - very saggy dog boobs. Again though- she was the nicest dog ever. It hurt to look at her scarred face (fought?) and to run my hands over her bony ribs and protruding hip bones. Both dogs cried when I left them in their kennels and walked away. I don't know which of these dogs (both? neither?) will be put down...one could be the subject in my first piece. I feel a little sick to think about it.

In the kennel next to the pit is a rottweiler - thin as ever. That poor dog - along with another- was left abandoned by its owner after she moved. Now if that wasn;t bad enough - the dogs were CHAINED and left with no food and water. Evidently the woman who owned them has been given community service at the shelter. I personally would prefer they chain her to tree for a week with no food and water...how stupid and evil can a person be???
MAry

Rolling Rescue

2007-08-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I prior to the big idea, I was working with the rolling rescue program...it is really amazing... so the main shelter is so packed that volunteers have organized to send adoptable dogs to other shelters who have a higher demand for smaller sized dogs and puppies. This is mainly were I have been volunteering my time - cleaning cages, walking, medicating, socializing, and bathing animals that will be sent to a shelter in New York. Anyway, I am so excited because I am going to be the next driver...I will be driving a load of 40? 50? dogs and puppies to two shelters in New York (Albany and Queensbury). I am pretty excited. I mean if you realize that these dogs that are being sent had a huge chance of being euthanized - it is truly saving their lives..plus once they are delivered, that frees up more space to save that many more.
So I am going to start my project here. This will be a hard project that focuses on the deaths- so I thought why not start with hope, because even though millions of pets die each year- there is hope....stay tuned.......

MAry

p.s. check out the shelter here at http://west.petfinder.com/shelters/TN142.html

o.k.

2007-08-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

So they said okay. I think I'll start this coming week. Just getting over the stomache flu so I might as well start with my stomache already in knots....

In the beginning...

2007-08-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to make a commitment. I just have to get past city hall first.
Over the next year I plan on documenting the deaths of animals at the local shelter. I wont go into details yet- but it'll take fifty two weeks.
I wasn't going to post anything yet, but I started to think that the process before the process would be important. Hope so.
More to come later......
MAry